Hi when I was at primary school, we were taught this poem I dont know who it is by and the only other thing i remember about it is that it started with " Laddles and Jellyspoons" and another line is "We'll give you a seat so you can sit on the floor".
I would love to find out who wrote it and get the whole version, if you can help me that would be fantastic
Thanks

Ladles and Jellyspoons,
I come before you, to stand behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There will be a mothers' meeting for fathers only.
Admission is free, pay at the door,
Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
We will be discussing the four corners of the round table.

.
Ladles and Jellyspoons,
I come before you to stand behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Early in the morning in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie that's true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too.

.

Ladles and Jellyspoons,
Icome before you,
to stand behind you,
and tell you something,
I know nothing about,
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There will be a mothers meating,
For fathers only,
Wear your best clothes,
If you haven't any,
And if you can come,
Please stay at home,
Admission free,
Pay at the door,
Take a seat,
And sit on the floor,
It makes no differance where you sit,
The man in the gallery is sure to spit.
.
Ladles and Jellyspoons:
I come before you
to stand behind you,
and tell you something I know nothing about:
As next Thursday is Good Friday,
there will be a Fathers' meeting for Mothers only.
Wear your best clothes if you don't have any,
and please stay at home, if you can be there.
Admission is free, pay at the door,
have a seat on me; please sit on the floor.
No matter where you manage to sit,
the man in the balcony will certainly spit.
I thank you for your unkind attention,
and now present the next act:
The Four Corners of the Round Table.

authors unknown

"unknown author"- I am always bothered to hear this ...
.
this poem appears in an old book called Rocket in My Pocket.

and

in a book (thick hardcover) called The Winged Horse circa 1968

Dear Ladies and Jellyspoons
I come before you
to stand behind you
And tell you something
I know nothing about

Next Thursday,
which is Good Friday,
there will be a Mothers meeting,
for Fathers only.

Wear your best clothes
if you haven't any,
and if you can come,
please stay at home.

Admission's free
pay at the door.
Take a seat
and sit on the floor.

It makes no difference
where you sit
The man in the gallery's
sure to spit.

the author is probably Spike Milligan, the famous UK comedy writer and poet

I will try to find out more ...

well, I stick to
Carl Withers, Illustrated by Suzanne Suba
A rocket in My Pocket
1948


The famous speaker who no one had heard of said:
Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout "hooray!")
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine-inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too,
through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

here are a few more versions.
[www.emule.com]

pam

It's been around since at least 1940, but the precise source is unknown, although several versions and several attributions exist. See [www.kith.org] and [www.folklore.bc.ca] for reports on searches for the source, and the various versions circulating.

I believe it has only been "compiled" - and the author will remain unknown ...

i used a version of this poem in a talent contest when i was a child. won the contest, even though im not sure i showed any talent. the author of the version i used was spike milligan, im pretty sure.

Merlin, it's traditional, not attributed to any one person. To see all the possible versions, go to the links I provided here: [www.emule.com]

Les