See You Next Year (for Donna Leombruno)

Thanksgiving is in the tears
that burst like ripe grapes.

Proclaiming, see you next year,
we wave, begin to panic.

With these tears, the further we go
the tighter we are entwined.

We hold onto each others image,
hold each other way-deep

as the bus pulls us apart,
stretching our gratitude for miles.


-Judith Pordon



I'm not sure if this poem counts as a narritive and if it is I'm not sure what its about. A little help here!

Geoff, a narrative is a description of a sequence of events. So if a poem tells a long story, it's obviously a narrative. If it just describes a minimal series of events, for instance 'I waved goodbye to you, and then the bus pulled away', it's only just a narrative, and probably not a good example of a narrative poem if a good example is what you are looking for.

This poem you have posted seems to be mainly about the mixed feelings of happiness and separation anxiety that are fuelled by temporary reunions at Thanksgiving. The narrative element is minimal, so I wouldn't choose it as a good example of a narrative poem.

Ian



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2021 05:52PM by IanB.

Well, if there are in fact only three types of poetry (narrative, dramatic and lyric), then I would have to label this one as dramatic. And, if Geoff needs it for an assignment of some type, it is likely not a good choice.

Thanksgiving is in the tears
that burst like ripe grapes.

I am not sure what this simile is trying to say, for example. Do tears ever burst like ripe grapes? Not that I have ever noticed, no. And why would Thanksgiving be like that anyway?

Proclaiming, see you next year,
we wave, begin to panic.

Grammar error? Should be: Proclaming, "See you next year," we wave ...

With these tears, the further we go
the tighter we are entwined.

Missing a comma after further we go?

We hold onto each others image,
hold each other way-deep

Missing an apostrophe in other's. Hyphen error in "way-deep".

as the bus pulls us apart,
stretching our gratitude for miles.

Not a bad finish perhaps. Still, I don't see how they can hold each other way deep while the bus is pulling away. And what have they got to be grateful about in the midst of all those tears anyway?