Ceri, if you are having trouble understanding the poem, purhaps it has to do with the vocabulary. Here's a dictionary to help you understand her terminology: [
www.onelook.com]
"Time stands before the door of Death,
Upbraiding bitterly
And Conscience, with exhaustless breath,
Pours black reproach on me:
"And though I've said that Conscience lies
And Time should Fate condemn;
Still, sad Repentance clouds my eyes,
And makes me yeild to them!"
She's saying that she is sorry for having thoughts of doubt. She's seeing sleep as a synonym for death.
>"And where thy heart has suffered so,
>Canst thou desire to dwell?"
In other words, she's saying to herself: "Do you really want to live after all the pain life has given you?"
"'Tis true, this arm has hotly striven,
Has dared what few would dare;
Much have I done, and freely given,
But little learnt to bear!
"Look on the grave where thou must sleep
Thy last, and strongest foe;
It is endurance not to weep,
If that repose seem woe.
"The long war closing in defeat--
Defeat serenely borne,--
Thy midnight rest may still be sweet,
And break in glorious morn!"
Here she's admitting that life has caused her grief and woe, but she resolves to face the death of sleep and awaken to a new day.
Les