This was originally written to be a rap, so if it doesn't sound so smooth...start rappin'.

REALITY

Syncopated rhythm flooding my brain,
Life's realities seem so insane.
The daily grind, the toil, the struggle,
Every man in his own private bubble.
You think you're right, I think you're wrong,
The world keeps spinning its sad, old song:
"There is no hope, no freedom, you see
Be master of your own morality."
But I've found the only escape route,
Tho' you may have cause to question or doubt.
Just reach out beyond the misty veil,
This reality is far from pale.
The key of freedom will shatter your chain
As your new-found road brings boundless gain.
Free from the world's pageantry of fear,
Find the God you ignored was always near.

--Desire, Bride of the lonely Moon

I liked the message here, especially this: "Be master of your own morality."

Les

Desire
You have some great lines in this piece, Desire, these were may faves:-


"Be master of your own morality."
"Free from the world's pageantry of fear"
"Find the God you ignored was always near."

Enjoyable read, thanks for posting...


Zoe

I enjoyed your choice in words. Nice indeed. Thank you for the lovely rap ma dawg.

"To write something, you have to risk making a fool of yourself." Anne Rice

Thank you all, you're so very kind.

desire

PS Les, how unusual of you not to suggest any corrections. There must be something wrong?



Post Edited (06-28-03 10:04)

I'm kind too.. kind to animals, especially calves and little pigs.
I'm kind to dogs, UPS drivers, and federal agents.
I'm going to be kind to you too, cause I really like this one. Very nice to read. Gotta admit, I did reread "But I've found the only escape route" a few times. Couldn't make it fit as well as the others.

Terry

Aw, you're too sweet....
Could it be because there are 2 ways to pronounce "route"?

des

Desire, there are some questions about your sentence structure, and meter, but sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie.

Les

Route definitely doesn't rhyme with doubt, "rout" does. Funny thing, my business professor once praised a student because she pronounced route right, and he said that even some newscasters pronouce "route" as rout. Since the rhymes are prefect rhymes, this single difference in sound stands out, so you might want to change it.

Desire,

I rapped my way through this and really enjoyed it. You have some good lines and I liked the last one the best. My dictionaries show either pronunciation for "route" so it will rhyme with doubt. Perhaps the pronunciation is a regional thing. Nice job.

jhs

Thank you, JHS.
MP, I've always pronounced route as rhyming with doubt, but there are so many differences in English, so you're probably right where you live and I'm right where I live (heheh, cuz no one speaks English here).
Les, I'm not afraid of mistakes, speak freely...

desire

English lesson
Properly spoken ... Route rhymes with doubt Creek is the sound a door makes,,,, Crick is a small stream and Aunt is pronounced the same as the little short necked insects, not with some flaunty accent making it sound like gaunt. Almond does not rhyme with salmon, privacy is pronouinced PRI-va-cy not priv-e-cy and harrassment is not hairessment at least out here where we still WORK on horses and carry guns in the open they do.

Ah well, you say poe-tah-to, and I'll say spud.

Terry

Full agreement here...except on poe-TAY-toe (or chinese: too-doe).

Des

ps Why did you change your signature?

Old one fell off and I couldn't remember how to type it over.
Do you say poe-TAY-toe or poe-TAH-toe?

Terry

poe-TAY-toe like toe-MAY-toe

Exactly. JP's ancestors may have invented the language, and the Ausies ruined it, but we saved it and perfected it.

Terry

WOW desire! i can't believe i missed this, rock on girl, this is awesome!

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)

Thanx a mil, Gwydion.

desire

bump