Weather Mongering 08-17-2002 19:26

I used to hate this song…
the way that it
lodged in my mind
and wouldn’t release me.
you used to play it
over and over;
I think you wanted me
to go insane;
and you know that
I came close.

You can only
listen about
little fluffy clouds
for just so long,
before you say
goodbye,
then there was
that voice
with the
irritating whine.

There I was,
wondering why
someone
would pay
her money
to torture me
like this; about the weather,
which if you really think
about it, is going to
happen anyway!

I really
love that song;
it is the only
thing that
you
allowed me
to keep of you;
maybe it worked,
and I am In
sane after all.

Bruce Herbert Fader

-Dedicated to my little sister Jillian Sue Yeomans

I am really not sure about this one. I can't decide if I like it or not.
The song in question is "Little Fluffy Clouds" by the Orb.

Thants interesting, because neither can I . I'm pretty sure I do though. Smiles!
Lizz

i'm with liz...i think i like it. it's one of those ones that gives me a good feeling even though i can't decide if i like the words themselves.

~J

Bruce, I know all about little sisters, I have one. She used to drive me nuts, but now she's my best friend. JP

Well Spook and I are somewhat estranged, as we have only talked once in the last four years and that was this June when I went to a store to buy some special gortex jackets for my company and she was the one that they called down to ratify my cheque.
It hurt like the bejeezuz, because we used to share every thought, and even though I always told friends that asked after her that if we were meant to reconnect that we would; fate and all of that. I tell you, I guess I had been lying pretty well, because I obviously didn't believe it deep down. It was like seeing a ghost JP; I felt that someone I had watched die had suddenly shown up on my doorstep.
It took me a week to level back out from the shock and stop being so depressed about the whole thing.
I think maybe I just saw too much, and she needed to leave it all behind...all of us who knew her as she had been.
So yesterday I was trying to find some inspiring music, and there it was; the original techno, "Little Fluffy Clouds," by the Orb and I downloaded it and played it today. Needless to say, I got all nostalgic.
It is so hard when you still love someone to death, but they refuse all contact...so I try to keep the memories at arms length, because that is the only thing that I can control.
Really didn't help that I took three emotional blows that week, pretty much back to back. Thank God that I was working 70 hours a week and didn't have time to dwell on it all.

This depressing moment was brought to you by "so sorry for myself.com" and now a word from our sponsor; blows loudly into hanky :-D

Brucefur, Liked it, because there were songs I disliked at one time but like now because of the memories attached to them. You both live in the same area? Send her a copy of the poem. jhs

Sorry Bruce, I feel so sad when I hear about family rifts, and people haven't spoken to each other for years. Life is so short. Maybe you can do as JH suggests, and send her a copy of your poem for openers. I don't know the circumstances of course, but you do mention 'all of us who knew her as she had been' and 'she needed to leave it all behind'. Maybe the loss of contact is out of embarrassment, people don't like reminders of how they used to be sometimes. I swallowed a big hunk of my pride when I invited my ex over for Christmas a few years ago, because one of the kids especially, still had big issues with him and hadn't spoken to him for years. Of course I checked with her first, and even though she had a lot of misgivings, it opened the door for communication between the two of them. He is quite ill, and I think she would have never forgiven herself, had she not spoken to him before his death. So swallow the lump in your throat, and make some overtures. JP

I can't send it on to her, as she has changed all of her emails and I don't know where she lives, only where she works, and I don't feel that is appropriate.

I did give her all of my contact information AND the link to this site, so who knows maybe she has read it already!

Thanks guys, I didn't mean to go on like this.

Ciao

I liked this too, Brucefur, because It hit me in another way... something to deal with in future tense. I'm married to a divorced man with two sons. The divorce was a bloody one, and I came into the picture after it had been started, but before it was finished. The oldest boy was then two. I have this recurring nightmare that he's going to turn to me one day and say, "If YOU hadn't been there, maybe my parents would have gotten back together!" And my husband will be wretched if this causes a skism between him and his sons. The oldest is now ten. Every once in a while they ask him if he won't go back to their mom. Family strife is hell.

bobo

P.S. Margaritaville affects me this way--ugh!

Yes Bobo it is!

Fortunately my step mother is anything but wicked, and my step father is a good man too.

I did fight with my step father a lot during my teen years, because I lacked respect for the fact that it was his house and should therefore have been his rules. Ironically I used to go and visit and discuss things with him all of the time prior to the marriage, and once I got booted out of the house (they were selling, so it isn't as bad as it sounds), I started to get along with him much better. My mum too. My respect for her grew immensely once I had to go it on my own. (Kind of like that A.E. Houseman poem, when I was one and twenty)?

Some of the kids felt as you fear your step son will, but I came to realise that divorce WAS the best thing that they could have done. They were totally incompatible, and I think always were. (My natural parents that is).

When I was 8 or 10 that wasn't the case, but it certainly was by the time I was 20.

I wish you all of the best with that Bobo, but if you love them like your own, show them compassion and demand their respect, it will all turn out okay.

In camaraderie,
Brucefur

Brucefur: You inspired me--just posted a new poem--my heart goes out to you. In order to bridge the gap---both parties must be willing - at the same time - to come together again. That is what is so difficult. Foolish pride could be the enemy on your sister's part---you have given her your contact information--that is good--however (just a question) could you post a letter to her at work--is it really inappropriate--or just an excuse due to fear of rejection on her part---your poem reaches out--but it needs to touch her---just a thought ..... hugs Ell


Hearts are made of stone.
I will buy me a hammer;
Hearts can be broken.

Winds are whispering
feel a warm breeze and the ray
of a sun beneath

...damn, that doesn't fit. How express that? There's nothing I can do to help, except assuring I am reading again...

Back to the poem:
No matter what about, you have written your heartsblood in blue ink and it is very good how you can take your feelings and show them to us.

Brucefur, you know what, I got a good recipe to help you out of bad moods:

Just drink a cup of warm, chocolate brown cocoa...
:-)
siren

............................. rays
of sunshine beneath?

hmmm. Agree!
siren

Just stopping by to give this one a nudge.

Out of the blue yesterday my little sister contacted me. It was completely unexpected and therefore all the more endearing. I am both stunned and exceptionally happy.

*grins

forward