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This is just to say
Posted by: misterF (91.109.211.---)
Date: July 11, 2021 04:54PM

This is just to say


I have put away

the stones

that were left on

the lawn


that we used

as chess pieces

in the days before

you left


Forgive me

I could no longer bear

to see

such metaphors


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: July 11, 2021 07:07PM

I like, though not quite WCW, still, a nice little piece.

cheers,

Peter


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: les712 (68.185.70.---)
Date: July 12, 2021 08:24AM

Nicely done, Stephen.

Peter, what is WCW? Water closet writing?


Les


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: apoemwriter (206.248.137.---)
Date: July 12, 2021 11:54AM

I like this very much. Your imagery conveys such as lovely sense of innocence.

Thank you for sharing.


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: misterF (91.109.211.---)
Date: July 12, 2021 06:11PM

Les - WCW is William Carlos Williams, and this was my winning poem in a WCW-inspired competition. Check out WCW's original 'This is just to say'.

Stephen


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: larkinabout (81.147.53.---)
Date: July 12, 2021 06:57PM

Inspired!

I guess that goes without saying...

I prefer your version.


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: les712 (68.116.82.---)
Date: July 13, 2021 02:22PM

Sorry, Stephen, I thought perhaps Peter was being cheeky, congratulations on your award.

les


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: July 13, 2021 07:53PM

Les? You know Peter is never 'cheeky.'

Re-the topic of writing versions of 'this is just to say' - it is over 20 years since I actually used that exercise for a writing class, so if I am a little jaded about the project, I hope Stephen will let me off the hook.

His was a more than passing effort, for sure.

Now try imitating 'Paterson,' which begins:

": a local pride; spring, summer, fall and the sea; a confession; a basket; a column; a reply to the Greek and Latin with the bare hands: a gathering up: a celebration" ...etcetera

and ends, in 1961, 246 pages later with:


"she had a friend/ Mrs. Carmody/ an Irish woman/ who could tell a story /when she'd a bit taken"

I'd say that's a bit tricky, wot?

cheers,

Peter

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/13/2010 08:20PM by petersz.


Re: This is just to say
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: July 13, 2021 10:53PM

Sorry to be so ponderous and silly. I always like your work, but you knew that, Stephen.

Peter




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