Selling the House
What will happen to the paintings
when the house is up for sale
and an auction's taking place?
Will strangers stand around
on hardwood floors
twisting scratches into varnished oak
as bids dislodge our silent storytellers
from walls they spoke from
through windows opening out
on worlds we longed for
and dreamed about?
Ah, won't all those
hand-clasped chins thrown back
and judgment noddings
frighten our poor shy
Maiden at the Brook
fetching water as she did
for us daily to watch
teaching us what beauty was
and what it meant for us?
Had ever a day passed
without our glancing up at her
gladdened by her being there
and her being one of us?
Won't we stand there saddened
staring at hooks and nails
in empty faded rectangles and squares
regretting having let the paintings go,
jealous already of bargainers
standing sceptically inquiring
before making the prize their own,
then making off with it
unaware of the pain that cost us
alone delighted with their success?
Nicely done, Charles.
Les
Two or three comments, Charles.
First, I don't know if you have been here recently or not, but you are welcome in any case...in the hope that you'll post as often as you like. It'll enrich the place in some measure.
That said, I thought I might respond in the mode of the critic to begin with. If you'd prefer less commentary, you can let me know. Although I find the diction here a little choppy, I end up liking your way of speaking in the poem: casual, personal.
Second, in your talk of the Maiden in the garden, this part of the poem developed a quite mythological tone for me that I was impressed with because I know that is an accomplishment whenever it happens.
The subject matter is an inherently painful topic for many.
Thanks for sharing your work with us.
Peter
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2010 03:46PM by petersz.
Thank you for expressing your feelings for "Selling the House", Peter. Your comments encourage me to do some more work, which when finished I will be glad to post. Greetings to you, Charles