The Ovum of the Species

A band of ghosts up in heaven's sky,
set loose a plan of dust and stone
where naught but anti-matter lied...
to spark a star in darkness' home
and tiny as a speck of dust
caught in rainbow's fabled arch
to fall earthward in gravid clutch
landing where the ground was parched.

One helix to encompassed all
and thusly life began it.
From one egg, it birthed them all
for that is how they planned it.

Bruce Herbert Fader 11-18-2009 23:36
-As inspired by the CBC radio's, The Evolution of Charles Darwin

The egg?
Or the chicken?


Bruce-

You know I'm not going to stir up a religious brouhaha, but "THEY planned it".
You best gird your loins if any of the old faithful are still around.


Jack

dem ole montheist ain't got no tolerance for the rest of the species.

Nice piece, Bruce.


I know 'lied' sounds better than 'lay' after 'sky', but it ain't quite grammatical.

Still, a very nice piece.

Peter

Interesting Darwin made his discovery based on watching the finches of Galapagos, for years I thought it was the tortoises that inspired him.

Good read, Bruce.

Les

Hey Jack,

You got it! What came first, the Chicken (Creationism) or the Egg (Evolution).

This is my third draft. The first one was prose... er... prosaic poo, the second one distinctly anti-petersz (religious), but wasn't what I wanted. This one comes close. I am seeking to find a way to explain that the two concepts really aren't mutually exclusive.

Peter,

I was wondering who would pick on me about that. You are of course correct, but I am loath to lose my half rhyme altogether. Any suggestions?

Les,

It was a very interesting programme. Not least wise because it showed how truly conflicted he was about his own findings. The thing I have always admired about Darwin was that he was truly an Empirical scientist; something distinctly absent in today's, result to the highest bidder, *cough science.

Brucefur

The Ovum of the Species

A band of ghosts up in heaven's sky,
set loose a plan of dust and stone
where naught but anti-matter vied...
to spark a star in darkness' home
and tiny as a speck of dust
caught in rainbow's fabled arch
to fall earthward in gravid clutch
landing where the ground was parched.

One helix to encompassed all
and thusly life began it.
From one egg, it birthed them all
for that is how they planned it.

btw, my objections to religion do included the polytheists as well, but I've always found the close-mindedness of monotheists dangerous and boring...Christians especially threaten people who are no Christian by pretending no other alternative exists. [I know saying such a thing will get me in trouble with all kinds of otherwise good people.] Also, I prefer to talk ontology rather than theology

Anyway, the poem is interesting and well constructed. I don't know if 'vied' is too much a departure from what you had in mind...I'm no good a rhyming anyway.

Cheers,

Peter

Hi Peter,

Thank you very much. I think that vied does indeed work better. I might rework its back line a little bit to make vied have a better fit, but I am certainly sold on using it. It is this kind of wonderfully constructive criticism that has always endeared me to emule and the people that reside here; and what keeps me coming back!

Thanks again,
Brucefur

I've never quite followed why you don't stick around, Bruce. Was your lady else where? Were you busy with your site? Whatever. Did you have another site up or what? last time I checked it wasn't around.

Nice poem Bruce. I like the play on the idea in what sounds to me more fairytalish, than scientific or religious or even in-between.

K.Q.

The Ovum of the Species

A band of ghosts in heaven's sky,
set loose a plan of dust and stone
where naught but anti-matter vied...
To spark a star in darkness' home.
As tiny as a speck of dust
caught in rainbow's fabled arch
falling earthward in gravid clutch
landing where the ground was parched.

One helix to encompass all
and thusly life began it.
From one egg, it birthed them all
for that is how they planned it.

Not sure if this is better, or worse... :0(

Bruce,

It's a first-rate piece of poetry and metaphysics either way...as such, always worth tinkering with.

cheers,

Peter