The ground is covered in red and gold
Soon the flakes of snow will fall
The lake is gray and still and cold.

The farm along the road was sold
The pine trees stay- so green and tall
The ground is covered in red and gold.

The drift wood log grows frost like mold
Wolves have hushed their lonesome call
The lake is gray and still and cold.

The bails of hay with twine are rolled
A fork is pitched against the wall
The ground is covered in red and gold.

An owl will see the night unfold
And wait for crest of light to crawl
The lake is gray and still and cold.

The plow behind the barn is old
The latch is broken to the stall
The ground is covered in red and gold
The lake is gray and still and cold.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2022 10:37PM by UPMarty.

Sounds like autumn, I like the images here.

Les

Mary:

I admire the discipline you've employed in these last two postings. Villanelles are extremely difficult to write and your latest two are very well done. This one is especially tight in meter and rhyme scheme. The subject matter also fits the traditional definition of a villanelle as a pastoral piece. We need more people like you who are unafraid of the hard work it takes to write rhyming metrical poetry.

Joe

Mary,

My main complaint about Villanelles and other elaborate poetry like poems is they have so many, too many words in them that go directly toward making the poem 'technically' more poetic without making the poems not much more 'creatively' poetic, if I might make such a distinction. I also work hard on the technical aspects of my poems, but I try to keep that work in the background, wishing to see out the window rather to look at the glass pane, as my minister used to say about the value of good works.

Yes, rondeaux [a French verse form of 10 or 13 lines running on two rhymes; the opening phrase is repeated as the refrain of the second and third stanzas] and villanelles require a lot of work, and I guess that work can result in more expertise, yet I find the frame distracting.

amo,

Keep up the good work,

Peter

P.S., See General Discussion for my latest critique on my own recent work.

Cheers,

Peter

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2022 06:43PM by petersz.

Thanks, Les. Where I live, there's no mistaking the season. Leaves, leaves, everywhere!

Joe,
I appreciate your comments. My roots are steeped in tradition, which is sometimes a blessing and other times...well, let's just say difficult. I will have to explore what you say about the traditional definition of a Villanelle being a "pastoral" piece. I hadn't heard that before.

Peter,
First let me just say I love you and all the ways that you are different from me. I always welcome whatever it is you have to say. It's interesting that you should use the word "elaborate" to describe such "poetry like" poems as Villanelles and others. It is also very interesting to me that you mention a minister's discourse on "good works".

Recent circumstances in my life involved my exploration of attending church again, but not the Catholic place where I was raised. At this new church I was attending, there seemed to be many comments dropped, whether in sermons, study groups, or adult Sunday school about Catholics...either directly or in a round about way... sort of dissing...the beads (rosaries) or other known practices of Catholics, like repeating certain prescribed prayers. In my youth, I remember hearing criticisms of Catholics with their "elaborate" Cathedrals, statues, money, wealth, idol worship (the statues, Blessed mother) etc.

Only recently had I heard critical discussion about "good works" in relation to the Catholic Church. I didn't stick around long enough to get the full low down, but I guess Catholics supposedly, in error, think they'll get to heaven just by doing good works. This church taught there's no need to do good works because Christ died on the cross. You just have to accept him as your personal savior. I don't know...and walk around doing no works or bad works?? It didn't make sense to me.

Anyway, long story shorter, I understand and accept that you and I have differences in the way we write, the type of poetry we most enjoy reading, how we approach poetry, and probably how we approach life too. I feel no need or desire to get you to see it my way and I don't wish to be exactly like you. I enjoy the differences and the fact that not only despite them, but because of them, I love you and your poetry.

Peace,

Mary

I found some discussion which talks both about Villanelles being pastoral and elaborate. There is one by William Empson, "It is the pain..." and a reading of it, which sounds eerily like you, Peter, doing the reading. I'll post the link in case anyone wants to hear the reading.

[olimu.com]

Mary,
I wrote about the pastoral poetry of Edmund Spenser many moons ago in graduate school. Interesting stuff. I also used to read Empson, but I got over him.

Cheers,

Peter

btw, being elaborate isn't necessarily a defect; I just don't always have the patience for it.

amo,

Peter

Mary:

Thanks for the Empson post. I had not read anything of his before this. I shall read more.

Peter:

I hope you aren't taking my comments about writing structured poetry as a backhanded swipe of free-form or steam-of-consciousness writing. I just think Mary's poem is especially well done and I wanted her to know that I admire the effort it took to produce.

Joe

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2022 08:14AM by hpesoj.

No, Joe, I am in fact one hundred percent behind you in your evaluation of the work Mary is doing. We all do what we do.

Cheers,

Peter

I really like the imagery in this poem, it is different and relaxing, i like it

Beth

Thanks, Beth. Glad you like it.

Mary