No Movement Today
Trapped in my apartment
By my broken toe
I look at maps of the city
Exploring where I have been
And where I would like to be
Trapped in my brain
I explore what I feel
Instead of
What I can’t think
At the moment
The movement of the air
No movement of the air
At the moment
Just outside my head
Just outside my window
The trees no sway say
No breeze
No movement today
If, when I read this out loud, I pause between stanzas about half the time it takes to read the previous stanza, the emphasis seems to work well.
Peter,
If it's not fiction and you do have a broken toe, it's the second one I heard about this week...and sorry to learn of it.
The trees no sway say
No breeze
Is this what you meant to say with these lines or is there a typo?
As far as the poem goes, I've liked many others of yours more than this one.
Peace,
Mary
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/29/2009 08:19PM by UPMarty.
Mary,
I like the break between liking and disliking you express.
The ungrammaticality of the piece is exactly what I meant to make use of.
Actually, I never aim at a top ten in any of my poems...every one of them comes from its own sources, this time something in the so-called real world, my broken toe, was its occasion. Often my 'imaginary world' is also fruitful.
be that as it may, I was just writing about what I was thinking about this morning.
thanks for visiting,
Peter
Peter, sorry to hear about your toe. With the wind we've had the past few days, you may be better off inside for a while, though I'm thinkin I would not like being trapped inside for an extended period of time. Get well soon.
Les
Thanks, Les.
Who knows which way the wind blows.
amo,
Peter
My first broken digit
From playing hooky from summer school
Playing catcher
Instead playing with “The Lady of the Lake”--
After flunking freshman English,
I think, and flunking second year French,
refusing to take French in summer school,
against my adviser’s advice,
opting for Latin to get into college later,
getting my right thumb broken
by my best friend’s older brother,
‘Fish’ Olson...only forty-eight years ago.
Who knows which way the wind blows.
Golfers.
Les