There is a chill in the room; the light is in-between.
There are jackets and coats of course, disembodied,
bereft, hung-limp. Spectres of alfresco memories,
dull and dark, shadowed through my frosted breath.
The retro brown leather, all Sweeney-collared, lining
torn from a vital escape, marker pen dabs attempting
concealment; probably two shades out in the night.
In the day probably five, it’s these fine details on which
one must ruminate, when looking slack-deep at a heap of
inanimate cloth. I move from the leather as I did years
before, and beneath it I see as green as army, a sleeve.
A solid and dependable weave, with a trendy orange tab
sewn sharp on the very edge, screaming: I’m an outdoors
type with style, I keep my logos low, but just so you know.
Now the chill is a cold and I’m feeling younger than old
and so it must be, as with Roy Walker, I’ll stop saying what I see.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2009 10:34PM by larkinabout.

I like this. A neat piece of introspection.

I keep my logos low

stuck out especially to me.

Mary

[www.ukgameshows.com] />
Kris,

Your work is always so full of careful detail I get fearful your readers might overlook the subtlety of feeling in your poems.

Peter

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2009 07:16PM by petersz.

can't seem to get the link to his mug to work, though.

Thanks Mary.

Peter I do appreciate your careful reading, thanks for that.

A comment on another forum suggested that using "cultural references" - in this case "The Sweeney" and "Roy Walker" could be seriously detrimental to a poem.

I reckon you've proved that case wrong, but then again we have the WWW at our fingertips, it changes the way we can approach poetry I guess? Shit it changes the way we approach the whole world!

cheers
Kris

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2009 10:34PM by larkinabout.

cultural references make the poem. if we only read what we already are familiar with, well we'd all be dull boys.

Kris:
The writing is delightfully rich with feeling. I didn't mind checking google on the Roy Wagner reference. But even a Yank without the internet would still appreciate the many fine lines of this piece.
Steve

I meant Roy Walker, but does it really matter.

Enjoyed the poem very much, thank you for posting.

I really like the descriptive, very physical feel to it, the only thing I am not sure about is the line breaks. I would need to read it aloud sever times to figure it out. But just out of curiosity, let me see how it reads without the line breaks:



There is a chill in the room; the light is in-between.There are jackets and coats of course, disembodied,bereft, hung-limp. Spectres of alfresco memories,
dull and dark, shadowed through my frosted breath. The retro brown leather, all Sweeney-collared, lining torn from a vital escape, marker pen dabs attempting
concealment; probably two shades out in the night. In the day probably five, it’s these fine details on which one must ruminate, when looking slack-deep at a heap of inanimate cloth. I move from the leather as I did years before, and beneath it I see as green as army, a sleeve. A solid and dependable weave, with a trendy orange tab sewn sharp on the very edge, screaming: I’m an outdoors type with style, I keep my logos low, but just so you know. Now the chill is a cold and I’m feeling younger than old and so it must be, as with Roy Walker, I’ll stop saying what I see.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2009 02:29PM by Deja Vu.

Thanks for dropping by Steevo and Mitts.

DV,

No need to thank me, I do it out of pure love. Why do people thank people for posting? It's so unecessarily polite!

Indeed very prosey, I see what you're saying.

Thanks
K

bump, with profuse thankfulness and other silliness-es,

yours,

Peter