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Humbly asked Him
Posted by: sheziff@yahoo.com (68.188.54.---)
Date: September 03, 2021 04:41PM



Release.
Offer.
Freeing up the mind.
Dying and living,
Deeply intertwined.

Purge.
Retch.
Expulsions flowing out.
Oozing, seeping,
Removal of the rot.

Inhale.
Receive.
Calming
down
the mind.
Living and growing,
Deeply intertwined.


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: September 03, 2021 06:41PM

sheziff,

I like all of this, including the staccato, shorter lines. Nice job...I especially like the thoughtfulness that went into it.

ps, I read much about religion. Right now I'm focused on the evolution of Greek religion, as distinguished from Greek philosophy and literature, and am for the time being greatly suspicious of male gods for some reason. I know very little about your 'Him.'

Cheers,


Peter


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: sheziff@yahoo.com (68.188.54.---)
Date: September 03, 2021 10:20PM

Thank you. Originally, the first 2 words of stanzas one and two were exclamatory. I have never had any formal poetry training and thought maybe this was not appropriate. Feedback?

My "Him" is the pronoun I choose to give to the spiritual power that is greater than myself. This is my understanding of this power. I also choose to call Him God.

Blessings,
Sheila


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: September 04, 2021 04:01PM

Sheila,

As far as I'm concerned, anything is ok in poetry that works for the poem itself.

Cheers,

Peter


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: Merc (70.192.60.---)
Date: September 13, 2021 02:04PM

Pete, as you learn more about our gods in Greece, you will find that godesses are not someone you'd want to take a check from either.


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: petersz (24.7.60.---)
Date: September 13, 2021 08:15PM

aye.


Re: Humbly asked Him
Posted by: les712 (71.93.236.---)
Date: September 16, 2021 03:55AM

Sheila, I've read this a few times, not much to say about it, but I like the ying yang feel I get from it.

Les




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