Deep was a walking weapon, and his son was inside out.
Even light feared Deep's armor,
Nothing knew his weapons,
And like an animal he dug,
His back to the world,
Only turning to kill.

Impact, his blinding son, learned well from his father
So well that he carried no weapon, wore no armor
And the ground split before him, far beyond the bottom of the world.

Percival, this has the foundation of an epic "action hero" type of story.

As a poem I'm not sure it works as well. But that's probably just me.


Les

Em, suppose. Wasn't really an attempt at a poem so much as a recording of a dream, but give or take.

In my opinion, some of your best work has been prose. You should consider writng a novel, perhaps some science fiction.

On reading about your interpretation of this "dream". Consider this factoid which I've read somewhere on the internet, I have no idea whether or not it is true. Though I suspect that there is some degree of validity in it.

All characters in our dreams are ourselves, or manifestations of how we are perceived by our subconscious minds, regardless of age, gender, or other apparent relationship.


Les

Les,

You saw that on Star Trek, in the episode where Riker is pretending to be crazy and is going crazy...interesting pop psychology, but everyone is us anyway, ole.

Cheers,

Peter

everyone is us anyway

Indeed Peter, to quote one of my favorites:

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.


Les

right now, over me.

Yes, I'm aware of and partially agree with that theory of dreams. I could go on to tell you why and what of myself I perceive as these characters.

As to a novel, I'd rather not. My opinions have more of an effect on people than I would like. But if I get desperate, I probably will.

I've been around people who can "manipulate" others... by pushing the right buttons. I think addicts are very, very good at this. But, in this piece, it feels like you're talking about something that goes much deeper than mere manipulation....something fully transferable...that fully embodies, transforms, effects permanent change.

Mary

Bingo, bango, grim fandango. But with each step forward come new challenges. Why should one person, just because they see things a certain way, herald in the next generation of horrors?

Percy, you're way too cynical for a man your age. Put away your Tom Waits and chill with something like this:

[www.youtube.com] />

Les

Yes, I know. No one wants me around when things are well and good. But guess who's god when everything crumbles.

As to Waits, don't slander the man in such a way.

how old are you, P? no matter what your age, you are a kick...Sherry

Old enough to give you insomnia.


Speaking of, Les, you're aware that sounds like porno music?

I can handle it. Have had insomnia since i was 15 anyway...that was long ago for me...

you're aware that sounds like porno music


You crack me up Percival, I think you're far too deep into visuals. Try concentrating on the auditory once in a while, and while you're listening to some Bebop, write another poem or two for us.


Les

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2021 02:11PM by les712.

Visuals have noootthhing to do with that completely sounding like porno music!

Percival, I'm pretty sure nobody watches pornos to listen to the music...


Les

I believe Casanova said something about conversation with women being an important arousal for him. While a brainy chick whispering sweet sciences in my ear will certainly turn my crack, a woman with a properly crafted voice has a far stronger effect.

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Emmmmmm. Look at that. A different language and I'm still getting rubbery.