We pulled into Johnny’s
An’ it wuz a Wednesday night
Ol’ Elmer Dunn he took the keg
Jus’ like it wuz his right.
The coffee it wuz poured,
An’ ‘twas saucered up an’ blowed
An’ Dunn starts in a story
That he said his uncle knowed.

Claimed it wuz in Arizona
On the ranch called “forty two”
That the owner, Billy Coggins
Jus’ don’ know what to do.
He kent get a hired han’
Who knows a cactus from a cow
Nor can pile up loose hay
Nor stay outa the hoosegow.

When one day, ‘twas in the summer
Back in ought thirteen he say,
That the kid rode in at eve’n
On a fancy black mane bay
An’ the kid is huntin’ work
Fer a few bucks an’ his foun’
An’ he claims he can tend cattle
An’ he ain’t one to go to town.

So Coggins puts ‘im on,
An’ he feeds ‘im supper too,
An’ he sends ‘im to the bunkhouse
To sleep the night on through.
An’ come the mornin’ Coggin’s lookin’
Fer the new han’ , the day’s begun
But he don’t see hide nor hair
An’ he figgers kid had run.

But come on ‘bout an hour
The kid’s back at the gate
Said he’s been to the south meadow
Didn’t figger the fence’d wait.
So he strung up some new wire
An’ a post hole or two he dug
An’ he fed the horses on the way
An’ milked ol’ jersey, Bugg.

After ham an’ eggs he saddled
Up his horse an’ rode away
An’ showed up ag’in at darkness
When he had spent his day
Fixin’ fence, an’ loadin’ up hay
An’ roofin’ part the shed
An’ feedin’ calves and doctor’n
Makin’ sure the hogs is fed.

Welpt, ol’ Coggins watched this kid
Fer a month, or maybe two
An’ when he went to do some work
There wuz no work to do
Fer the kid had all’us done it
Afore ol’ Coggins could get there
An’ when he wuzn’t busy
He’d comb out the horse’s hair.

An’ the garden it wuz watered,
An’ the tires on the truck
Wuz changed out fer the new ones’
So ya ain’t trustin’ jus’ to luck
An’ the house got itself painted
An’ the hay was cut an’ rake’
An’ ol’ Coggin’s he is thinkin’
‘Bout a vacation he could take.

So he packs up his valise
An’ his wife she does the same
An’ they go right into Wilcox
An’ get on the steam driv train
An’ they get to Californey
An’ on a boat they’re goin’ more
An’ they get off where sun is shinnin’
On Honolulu’s shore.

Fer a month they ride the sunshine
An’ not once think o’ the spread
Cause they got the kid, who’s watchin’
From the south fence to the shed.
When ol’ Coggins gets ta thinkin’
He might check in back at home
An’ he asks fer the long distance
On the house’s telephone.

At his house the phone jus’ rings
An’ no answer comes at all
So he tells the operator
To change his long distance call
An’ to get him his own bunkhouse
An’ to the kid he’ll chat
An’ he’ll ask ‘im hows it goin’
An’ other stuff like that.

The kid he answers first ring
An’ he sez he is inside
After a real sad chore of duty
For he sez that ol’ Skip died.
“Ol’ Skip” sez then ol’ Coggins
His pain it came like rage
‘What kilt my poor ol’ puppy?
Wuz it rabes, wuz it age?”

“Nope”, allows the kid
“Vet wuz here, an’ wuz complete
Sez the poor ol’ doggy et up
Too much burnt horse meat”
“Where’d he get the burnt up horse meat?”
Wuz Coggin’s next to say
“Well, they wuz all there in the barn
Of the mornin’ yesterday,

An’ the barn went to the groun’
An’ some horses not got out.
It wuz all’s I could do
To save five or six, about”
“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BARN!?
HOW DID IT CATCH ON ABLAZE!?”
“Welpt, yer house wuz goin’ pretty good
An’ fire’s got it’s ways

The sparks must’a got o’er to it
An’ caught up some the hay
That wuz up there in the hayloft
Ya know it burns that way.”
“MY HOUSE, WHAT EVER HAPPENED
TO MAKE MY HOUSE BURN DOWN!?
WHAT THE HECK IS GOIN’ ON
THERE IN MY HOMETOWN!?”

“Welpt, we think it wuz the candles
An’ one musta fallen o’er
An’ got the wax to burnin’
Ya know the wax there on the floor”
“WHAT CANDLES ARE YA SPEAKIN’
OF THAT COULD START MY HOUSE AFIRE
AN’ MAKE MY BARN BECOME
MY HORSES FUNERAL PYRE?”

“Welpt the ones around the coffin
Of yer wifes mom, wuz at her wake
An’ let me tell ya sir,
It’s getting’ more’n I can take”
“WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MOM IN LAW
THAT COULD CAUSE HER TO DIE!?”
“I wondered at that too sir,
An’ I asked the doctor why.

He told me why’s an’ wherefores
An’ I’ll tell ‘em now to you
But it wuz so awful sudden
There wuz nothin’ I could do
It happened near yer house,
Actually out back
When she saw me with yer daughter
Why, she had a heart attack”

So ol’ Coggins fell to the sofa
In Honolulu town
An’ on this ol’ cowboy’s cheeks
Tears wuz rollin’ down
But, don’t go callin’ “sissy”
A man’s got to have his pride
An’ a guy’s got a right to cry when
He hears that ol’ Skip died.

Good to see you haven't lost your touch, Terry. Enjoyable from start to finish.

Joe

Amen to Joe's comment. I was worried when I saw the title and didn't recognize Merc. But it was easy enough to work out as I read!

Hey Terry, do you ever hear from JP? How's she doing?

Do sometimes hear from JP. Not oft nuff. Guess she still sometimes hears from Jack, but I haven't in a few years.

matter of fact Chesil, just bounced a facebook thing off JP,, she made me a friend, so I guess we'll be in touch for a while.

A great read Terry, one of your best efforts of late.

Les

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2009 09:38PM by les712.

I enjoyed this too!

Terry,

Delicious! I read it three times before I decided the part I liked the best was the word, 'hoosegow,' one of my favorite words from my youth...mch better than getting thrown in the 'tank.'

Peter

In one of your threads, Terry, you said that writing cowboy poetry was just a matter of clothing an old joke in rhyme and rhythm. Maybe; but no one does it better than you.

Really enjoyed this one. Great build-up from start to finish. The laughs get bigger each time. And you have wrapped it perfectly with the final stanza and punchline.

Ian

bump

Terry, check your inbox, Bruce has a message for you. If you've accidently erased it, let me know and I'll paas along his message.

Les

Don't have a thing Les,, guess I need it paased on. tee hee..