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Edited 7 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2021 11:11AM by easyeverett.

Very Romantic, with a capital R! I love the internal music, where words taste sweet when read out loud.
I actually read all your poems and enjoy them even when I disagree; however, I don't always know what to say! I simply enjoy!
Keep posting.

K.Q.

I liked the poem. I hope you don't mind a few comments.

I liked the first stanza the best,it kept me reading on, the second one was also ok, though less tightly written. The line "But time and lust can quickly dim within love's fated winds" feel a bit of a cliche, sort of a let down after some great lines in the first stanza.

I would shorten the third stanza.

Also, I wondered about the line breaks ...

Thanks for the read,
Deja Vu


---

I remember when the scent of cherry blossoms swirled around Pagodas in the park.
Withered old women would leer at the roll and the rock of a firm derriere,
they would stare for hours at the young, firm bodies that moved to and fro
as couples hurried past gilded garden gates to find a place where embrace
could lead to release of need.

I remember making love above a mountain teahouse as heated light of day gave way
so gently to the misty mountain chill under dark stars at night. Two bodies
move and reach their peak sinchronicity as they slow thrust and sway
beneath the cool, frosted glow of silver-blue, moonbeam light.
But time and lust can quickly dim within love's fated winds.

But I remember after love was done
we slumbered till the sun kissed the night away. And we, for one moment,
melded into love.

Thanks Deja Vu.

Tom, Here's my response to Terry on my thread. It pertains to how much space you take on the board.

amo,

Peter

Merc,

re: Tom pushing people off. I figure he's old enough to be able to know that he is doing that and that it is not fair to all those who only post once in a while. I guess, Terry, that your mentioning to me is sufficient to motivate me to say something to him. As an anarchist, I'm sure you know how much I hate being anyone else's cop or daddy or conscience, but I will take on the task.

Thanks for stopping by to read the poem.

amo,

Peter