Where should I decide to lie down when I die?
Away from the whim of the wind to the willow.

And when will I know my own time has come nigh?
Surrounded by sound in a silence so mellow.

Can man ever find a true peace in his time?
The acorn becomes but an oak in the end.

Why now is our culture so rampant with crime?
You must tend the men who will break but not bend.

What now is considered the greatest of sin?
When search for a victim can find only you.

Will losers today find a way they can win?
When human desire is expunged through and through.

Divine intervention--a truth or a lie?
All things are defined by perception of mind.

But why do our children at times have to die?
A young child may yearn for the friends left behind.

Is one god all right and all other gods wrong?
One god is too many if bitter the song.

But when I am dead I am dead far too long.
No fuller the vessel that seeks to belong.




Anapest metering sounds and looks like this:

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
but WHEN i am DEAD i am DEAD far too LONG

Different than iambic metering which sounds and looks like this:

da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM
i TOOK a TIN of Tea to TOWN

Mastering all techniques of metered verse first, even if you
consider yourself a poet who favors "verse/libre," will
help you elevate that free/verse from the stilted voice of prose
to a poetic musicality filled with controlled rhythm and cadence.
Once mastered, you can be through with metered verse forever and ever
if you choose. But the intricate relationship of linguistic semantics
is a complex of smooth and rough rhythms which are usually a random
comportium of jumbled sounds without a plan. Add a plan to understand
syllabic stresses and then write poetic rhythms you envision as your
song. Pound said good poetry is simply music at its best and irritating
chaos at its worst. You all are some of the most creative writers I
have yet found in this nether space of endless opportunities and all
I've said may sound redundant, but better redundant than redacted.
I love that word. Redacted. Reminds me of Bush for some reason. tom

Tom:

I certainly appreciate the knowledge of poetry you bring to this forum. Along with Peter and a few veteran emulers who have left the site for a variety of personal reasons (Hugh Clary, Chesil, and the two Marians, as well as Ian, Steevo,and Stephen Fry who still drop by on occasion) you have enriched my enjoyment and understanding of the art form. Thank you.

This is another of your poems rich in form and meaning, even though I perceive some degree of stretching in a few places to make the words and ideas fit the meter.

To your point about controlled rhythm and cadence adding richness to all poetry, including free verse, I repeat what I said in response to one of your earlier poems: "Rhythm is a key component to all good writing, be it poetry or prose."

I certainly hope you continue to share your talents with us.


Joe

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/03/2022 10:40AM by hpesoj.

Hmmmm.....you have taken a lot of trouble here and I admire your effort. I'm critical only in the sense of the words within the poem. Anapest, to me, has meant a gallop. Byron's The Destruction of Sennacherib, for example:

The Assyrian came down like the wolf on the fold,
And his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;
And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,
When the blue wave rolls nightly on deep Galilee.
Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,
That host with their banners at sunset were seen:
Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn hath blown,
That host on the morrow lay withered and strown.

the poem gallops in meter and in sense.

Your poem is well crafted but is not a gallop.

Away from the whim of the wind to the willow.

gallops in meter but does not deserve to be run so quickly in sense.

Nonetheless, I applaud your endeavor for I know that the task you set yourself is very difficult.

I rarely write in anapest but feel these sites
can only grow for each individual if everyone
shares both skill and philosophy so we all can
broaden an already enriching experience. I appreciate
your observations very much. I am not in love with
any poem I write because tearing it apart is the
first a new poem and second a learning experience.
I write medical journal research and theory
articles for a living and early in my writing I would
often be mesmerized by my own constrct and
theory specualtions. Bad move. I am now quite neutral
and can be obsessively clinical at times. Thanks again. tom

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/05/2022 11:14PM by easyeverett.