You pass, I smell the scent and sense of you;
Full earthy musk of carnal trust we share.
Our lustful passions pull to surge anew,
I feel the need to breathe with you one air.

Such thoughts of you breed fire inside a soul,
Out of control, to taste the ancient ways
Of love's erotic days and make us whole;
Your beauty binds us now throughout our days.

My body's blood so hot it's bound to burst,
As nerves beseech you please affirm my need!
Profoundly parched with passion's deadly thirst
I ask for your surrender to love's greed.

And in surrender you consume my heart
Which is the source of lust I do impart.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2009 10:23AM by easyeverett.

You do well here, probably better than I in the imitation of the style, though I'd looked for a closer connection between the substance of the final couplet and the earlier stanzas. Still, your work is, as usually technically proficient, and, as usual, is quite interesting vise a vis what you have to say.

Others here in the forum will note to you that I am much opposed to falling into rhyme when a writer has nothing to say or when what is said could better be said in ordinary language. But you have talent, and I could only encourage you to go to your limits in whatever you do.

amo,

Peter

Hello Peter. I went to University when we all learned first metered verse and then in secret ran quickly to the "beats." LOL. I love free/form when it not only says something but also remembers the many poetic flairs that make prose a poetic treat rather than prose split up into lines. I love rhythm especially and find it often depleted at best or missing completely more often than not. I like your suggestion on the couplet and will come up with something more directly related to the quatrains and I appreciate your attention to detail. I thank you for the the time and suggetions. Most honored Peter. tom