it's sad when you realize
all you have in common
are the memories you made
before everything unraveled
and even digging in the archives
to rediscover the first marvels
that set your loving heart in motion
doesn't offer resurrection
to what has long since died
a sigh-
then another-
atop long stretched moments
trying fruitlessly to reconstruct
all the joy razed by indifference
and years of complacency converge
with clenched teeth tension
and tight throat choking
on all the shit you swallowed
trying to keep it together
trying not to give way
to the sorrow edging in
fighting and fearing
looking for the courage to face
the submission to defeat
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2009 01:04PM by frost42_24.
Frosty,
It's good, personally I'd use something other than the slang term for feces. But then, that is not my favorite kind of language. It put a hard stop in the poem for me.
Other than that... A with that B+
I swear I will never understand you Merc. You kill men for a living and can't take curse words.
Anyway, good shit frost.
The fact that you don't understand me looks good on my resume.
Profanity, vulgarity and slang cursing is mearly the audiomanifestation of a feeble, bewildered, or inferior mind attempting desprately to express itself forceably.
'merc thanks for reading and commenting. While I can see you point of view, I disagree that all use of strong language is done out of ignorance...Mr.P, am glad you liked and you make me smile...
Me?...I like strong language and strong women...but, both wear me out.
There are no prohibited words in my vocabulary.
btw, frosty, I slipped on the word 'shit' in the poem also...it gave a sense of your anger, but I did enjoy the poem, despite my over-active imagination running off to the bathroom to spit out shit...ugh! is that an image?
Peter, the only other words thjat came to mind were "things or crap" and neither accurately represented the intensity of the emotion so I went with shit. as for strong language and women being exhausting I am always up front about who I am from the start and come sporting a warning label.heh. mr.p...what the F?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2009 11:06PM by frost42_24.
All the women, Frosty, who have put up with me for more than a week have been strong. Some of the so-called macho men I've known who have implied that I am somehow strange because I like strong women can go Fuck themselves...blah, blah, blah. I have certainly been glad you were strong.
amo,
Petr
"Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets"
Arthur
Just messing with Merc. Side note, if a woman doesn't have an even chance of killing me, I won't have anything to do with her.
Even chance? I'd say a fair number of them even have a motive
I like the way you present the uncomfortable feeling in this, frosty
and years of complacency converge
with clenched teeth tension
and tight throat choking
on all the shit you swallowed
trying to keep it together
and even digging ............
don't offer resurrection
(I think "don't" should be doesn't)
I remember feeling this way after the loss of a relationship. It didn't get better until I realized that we had more in common than just the good memories of what brought us together in the first place. The angst was shared as well. It didn't make the loss any cheerier, but it did help to see more than the loss when looking back.
Enjoyed.
Mary
Urine, you are mistaking sympathy for love. They think you suffer from brain damage.
But, let me ask you something, Merc. Do you have any pennies in your home?
Pennies and pesos, pfenigs and dimes. Pharoahs and paupers, poodles and mimes.
I have all the walrus said of to speak, shoes, and sealing wax, a valley and peak.
In tropic sun the whale shark will bask, but, P, Mr. P, just why do you ask?
Well, I have bad news.
[www.youtube.com]
I suspose in some circles that was cute.
One at a time, of course