Uneven strengths

I woke up today
With a shattered leg
Shards dispersed
Around what is now a peg
Weak to the wind
Smaller than life
Ultimately wondering
How long I will strive

The weights uneven
The gods unfair
The blemishes plenty
And, I, too weak to bear
The question renowned
Why so heartless?
As if iced out
In an unjust game of chess

A parallel world
Of death and corpses
Splattered around my feet
With no strength or forces
Sad little trinkets
Of yesterday’s filth
Now at my doorstep
Swelling with stealth

The weights uneven
The gods unfair
The blemishes plenty
And, I, too weak to bear

My thought is that the gods have always been unfair. Beyond that, I think it is good that you write about difficult times when they occur. Anyone here at the forum has heard me say avoid rhyme for rhyme's sake, because it forces you to make word choices that don't work so well and can distort both your cadence and diction. That having been said, only the words 'strive' and 'stealth' sound like choices you would not use in common speech. I prefer ordinary language to so-called elevated, 'poetic' diction if the latter sound artificial. You want your diction on your side when you are writing about the atrocities of your world.

Thanks for posting this,

Petr

Nice poem. I see how it blends both desperation and question.However, I was wondering what you meant by 'blemishes plenty'. What is the intended effect of the phrase in place?

Appreciated,
Startle

Now that's my kind of poem.