Perfumed

Would you be dressed, unperfumed?
Neither would I, for I would
Dabbed myself with fumes
That’ll cool hell’s brood
And stir heaven’s muse.
What scent is that I use
That’ll raise such passions?
Stark love and compassion.

Well-placed apostrophes

Debutant: --all of what follows may be irrelevent...it's just my mood.

Since no woman I have ever been intimately connected with in the last 50 years would contaminate her skin with perfume, there is an obvious cultural disjunction between the speaker of this poem and the world of adults I prefer.

Less important to the message, but more important for the style, "I would/Dabbed" seems to be some kind of artificial contraction of "I would have/Dabbed."

Still, I have no objection to the speaker's wish to entice or seduce.

Sorry, Debutant. I don't mean to seem so negative this morning. I guess I shouldn't be in the audience of this poem, but I wanted to respond to whatever poetry appeared on the board, since so much non-poetic chit chat has been the mainstay this week.

I love it that you work so hard to stay within a poetic frame.

cheers,

Peter

Debutant:
I'm probably just on the opposite side of the mood spectrum from Peter today on this one. Feels like a kind of a flirting thing to me, and I enjoyed it.

I find the use of smell is a great feeling tool. Often forgotten. There are grammatical glitches in your poem that get in the way, but you can work that out in whatever way you want. Peter points them out correctly. Some work would help you there.

For now I just change verbs, add conjuctions or substitute adjectives where I want them, and let the aroma come in. Hope you keep it and work it.


Steve

A good read, Debutant, scents are more important to people than many would admit.


Les