During The Day


You just appeared at the door and asked
“When I am off working during the day
Do you think of me?”
I froze like a cornered animal.

I questioned the question, and
Looked back through 30 years for the answer.
When do I think of you? Why would I not?
And what do you hope I will say?

Stopping to ponder for so long is unnatural.
I answer all requests with quickness and certainty.
I reached frantically for feelings, but not the truthful ones.
I wanted the answer that makes us both feel good.

The questions I heard were others. I heard:
Am I valued and do I matter to you?
Am I wasting my time caring about you?
Do you love me as I want to be loved?

So I answered belatedly, “of course I do”.
And then fell silent, trying to hide the doubt.
Now I know, and notice, that I always think of you.
But the thoughts are filled with painful questions.

Steevo

Wow, Steevo, you're on a roll. Really, really, good stuff. I admire your ability and courage to reach so far in and write so openly about the things we often hide from ourselves. I really appreciate your presence back at e-mule and hope you stick around and write more.

Mary

Talk about wrong questions...then, this piece is good at catching the angst of how that wrong question can throw us off into an unnatural feeling. Good work.

Peter

Steevo:

Ouch! Introspection can be a painful undertaking as you illustrate so well. While the questions you raise are valid for anyone in a long-standing relationship, the doubts they raise are quite natural. I'd be careful if I were your poem's protagonist. The fact that the relationship has lasted so long is evidence that, on balance, it is a strong one and has been worth the effort.

Good job.

Joe

Mary:
Thank you. It's hard to know which came first, the attempts at poetry or the willingness to deal with my own issues. Either way, it turns out I am grateful for both.

Peter: Appreciated. I tried the direct route with this one. Not quite as elegant as your stuff but it works for me.

Joe: Thanks I won't hide behind "protagonist" (though I appreciate your consideration in not assuming I only write about myself). Your caution is noted and I can tell you that this relationship is not going away anytime soon. It just grows older and different like the rest of life.

much to think about here. i love the way you share-we all get a chance to tell you how much each of us can relate.

Steevo,

This is just as 'elegant' as anything I write, even more so perhaps because of your courage.


Keep at it,

Peter

Thanks Peter.
Poetry comes and goes like a lunar cycle for me. Keeeping at it seems to be seasonal. Friendly encouragement definitely helps.