The radiant withdrawal
Along the shore

Changing every morning--
Fading into rain

I watch you dancing
Out of your pain—

A practiced gesture
Meant to deceive

And I see you lower your eyes
When you have looked into mine

The radiant withdrawal
Of understanding

Not an exchange
A keep-your-distance

A measurement of pain
An isolation

I like the sound this makes, Peter, and overall, a piece I can grasp or connect with. I think we all know how to dance around certain things. The only part that gives pause is:

The radiant withdrawal
Of understanding

It would seem that the speaker in the poem is expressing a deep understanding for the subject's withdrawl. So whose understanding is lacking or being withdrawn?

It has been my experience that people who are isolated by pain are limited in their ability to understand their own circumstance, let alone understanding somone else. Even if reaching beyond their pain and seeking to understand someone else might be helpful to them.

I like the poem

Mary

Nicely done Peter. One of the differences I've noticed among mature writers on this phorum (and it should be noted that age is not necessarily a prerequisite for maturity) is that they tend to examine the human condition more closely than less serious, or less mature writers. Which makes for an enjoyable experience for those of us who read closely and try to find pieces of ourselves among the printed words on these pages.

Mary I tend to disagree somewhat with this statement:

It has been my experience that people who are isolated by pain are limited in their ability to understand their own circumstance, let alone understanding somone else.


I believe people who are isolated by pain may fully understand their circumstances, but lack the tools to help themselves. Think of the alcoholic who knows full well that (s)he is an alcoholic, but cannot stop without professional help. Many people who are in abusive relationships which cause them to feel isolated can intellectually tell you exactly how they feel, and why they react as they do, yet they cannot bring themselves to change. The problem they face is not one of understanding, but one of implementing change based on that understanding, which usually takes some outside catalyst, such as counseling, intervention or some other cooperative effort to be effective. To many people in painful circumstances they know themselves better than most of us, they just can't change without help.


Les

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2008 03:49AM by les712.

I totally agree with you, Les, and stand corrected with the way I stated the issue. Most of us are very aware of the circumstances giving us problems on an intellectual level. We know we're at A and need to do D, but if we can't find our way through, or don't know how to accomplish B & C, do we really fully understand the problem (ie. how we got here and why we keep returning or remaining here?)

It's not really a matter of intellect; of being smart or knowledgeable enough to recognize the problem or even what needs to be done to change it. It's everything in between. The tools we are given usually involve more than just instruction, but exploring and getting inisght into the internal map that keeps sidetracking us to the unwanted destination. It's often because of our intellect, knowing full well that we're in trouble, what we should do about it (ie stop the behavior, leave, etc.), yet continuing to remain in it, that often leads to more pain, decreased self worth, isolation, and feelings of hopelessness.

Perhaps this is precisely the predicament Peter addresses in his poem. But in this piece, I was thinking of "understanding" more as having the compassion to empathise with another, rather than just knowing something or having information.

When formulating a nursing care plan, whether for diabetes or alcoholism, the measure of a patient's progress or success is not in being able to verbalize, but rather to "demonstrate" understanding.

Thanks.
Mary

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2008 09:49AM by UPMarty.

But in this piece, I was thinking of "understanding" more as having the compassion to empathise with another, rather than just knowing something or having information.

Good point,Mary, understanding does not equal the taking of appropriate action.


Les

Les, you withdrew very radiantly from the conversation. I'm not sure if we reached common ground or if you just let me think I know what I'm talking about so we could be done.(lol)

I'm still wondering whose understanding is being withdrawn in the poem. What a sorry lot. Where's Peter?

Mary

Mary, the draft version of the poem started with these lines:

I can understand you
Can’t understand me

-which I crossed out because I thought they were too discursive and because they were unclear in the way you find the poem to be unclear.

The person being deceived is the speaker of the poem. The understanding is withdrawn by the person who is the subject of the poem, not the speaker of the poem.

Theunderstanding is personal and emotional. Whether it is intellectual isa just an intellectual question. outside the context created in the poem by the question of pain.

Peter

Peter, there seems to arise a questin of "empathy" versus "understanding". In common terms we use both interchangeably. Clearly, your edited lines:

I can understand you
Can’t understand me


indicate that you mean to use the term "understanding" as a synonym for "empathize".
To put it anothe way, one might say: "I feel your pain."

Les

Peter,
I appreciate your willingness to share the original lines. Feeling understood and feeling loved are both desireable emotions. At times it seems like one hinges on the other, but I think that point is driven home moreso when we are on the receiving end than vice versa. And I think our capacity to give these to another is fluid because, as you say, it is a personal and emotional matter.

....and because they were unclear in the way you find the poem to be unclear

For the record, I didn't find the poem unclear at all. To the contrary. It was just those couple lines. Again, thanks for the explanation.

Take Care,
Mary

Thanks, Mary.

Peter

Peter, this was absolutely wonderful. I love the entire poem but my favorite part of all is the title! great title. I always have trouble coming up with titles. Obviously, you don't share my issue.

Thanks, Sherry.

Sometimes title is the hardest part for me. sometimes the poem just seems to name itself. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Peter