She haunts my memories
While stealing my pride
Darkness the painful consumption
Her eyes the searing embers
I sit alone the haunting remains
Drowning In this ocean of tears
I've lost my way this lonesome day
The path we once crossed covered
No longer do we walk hand In hand
As our memories die
Our goodbyes decay
Her smile fades Into the abyss
My heart slowly beats as I wither away within
I severed everything. While bathing In the Ignorance.


Her hand slips away. My last goodbye replays.


While I walk this path alone.


Dying Inside. Uncontrolled breathing.


The uncertainty of my reality.


The bleeding of my neglection.


In the house of sorrow.


Where misery lurks within...

A good read Nolon, there are some good lines here. I especially like these:

Darkness the painful consumption
Her eyes the searing embers


Les

I find this, and most poetry that eschews punctuation, difficult to comprehend and appreciate. So much is lost.

Joe

Its (punctuation's) primary function is...to signal nuances of semantic significance which might otherwise not be conveyed at all, or would at best be much more difficult for a reader to figure out. (Malcolm Parkes)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2008 05:22PM by hpesoj.

nolon,

All your poems are the same...the same poem, regurgitated. After all these years, come on man...

Get over yourself and start writing about the roads you travel, the sites you see, you're a truck driver right?

The microcosm of life is all about you, ditch the teen-angst cliches once and for all...

Your patronisingly
K

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2008 09:41PM by larkinabout.

Please ignore Camus, he means well but sees everything as a nail.

Wonders how Camus can still be around I'm kidding we're all entitled to our opinion.

First of all Mr. Camus sir before you rudely say things that I reject and know for a fact are Incorrect. Before my poetic name becomes tarnished with your lack of research tongue I will make today you're day of shame. Are you ready dear sir ?


You see Camus Emule may not have backed up every single writing of mine over the years though the pages I've recently pulled up has nothing to do with "teen angst" Camus If you read this nor does this. I'll admit to sorrow. Sure I write a lot of poems that are geared towards darker,sorrowful,depressed states..But I'm a man of many writings. If you have just glazed over all the other wonders I've left here at Emule because you think It's still 2001 well then I'm sorry. Teen Angst has left the building sir.


So now I'd like to go over this writings because It seems you've missed the point or read It and went with oh It's nolon must be another death poem...


Well see I've recently become single though I've also recently got back Into another relationship but prior to where I am now I was In a relationship with a girl for six years..How you get teen angst out of a writing about my sorrowful pain of being without someone I knew and loved for so long. I'm unsure. But regardless again Camus this Isn't an argument. I just thought If you're going to try to make a laughing stock out of me and choose not to do your homework well then I'll do your homework myself.

And about how I'm a trucker and why don't I write about that ? Seems you missed the ship...But here Is one I posted awhile back..

[www.emule.co.uk] />
Poem about the rain....

[www.emule.co.uk] />
About winter..

[www.emule.co.uk] />
We can argue this one Is a bit dark..
But then again It's a mix bag of poetic thought when sitting and eating
[www.emule.co.uk] />
Make of this what you will but teen angst ?
[www.emule.co.uk] />
A poem about a beautiful lady...
[www.emule.co.uk] />
Wanting more of possessions while also wanting more of the one you love ?
[www.emule.co.uk] />
Sad writing dark sorrow
[www.emule.co.uk] /> [www.emule.co.uk] />

Now this Is a mixture
[www.emule.co.uk] />
Sad but I can't forget my friend who I've not seen In six years honestly
[www.emule.co.uk] /> But teen angst ?

Teen angst ?
[www.emule.co.uk] />
The consequences of reality...Now the title says It all but teen angst ?
[www.emule.co.uk] />
I agree I am a bit repeating with some of the Issues I deal with but never are they the same. The beauty of the same topic Is you can always find something new or a new way to rewrite what you've written In the past.

This for Instance Is from the "teen angst" days..Which I wouldn't even consider all of what I used to write "teen angst" Usually my writings carried a message I admit they probably came off that way. Though this Is a revise of an old one.

[www.emule.co.uk] />

Reflections of what could've been with an x and never was...
[www.emule.co.uk] />
Again I respect your comment but It seems the teen angst Isn't holding water..Anyone agreeing with me ?

I know I'm a bit repulsive using the same topics and usually covering the same I've noticed that. But It Isn't always that way Camus. So this Is just a reminder to never ever speak without confirming!

Fight, fight, fight

lol no just a conversation. I like Input that's why Emule Is nice.

You got Me Nolon!

I've yet to get to grips with the concept, that, this site:

Is not constructive crit site, it's a free for all, so my fault, I'll hammer it home.

You posted links to your varied poems, and yes the "subjects" are indeed different, yet your approach to the writing of them is invariably the same:

Therefore no matter what the subject maybe, the message is more often than not the same.

That said "Is not constructive crit site" is actually a welcome relief, so many sites are so far up their own anal tracts, hence I'm still around - much to chagrin of certain dudes.

I'll ask one question Nolon:

Do you read any published poetry?

As for the fight, fight, fight - that's just Mr.P's wet dream, I've always found you very accomodating and sincere. That's why I commented, some just pee their pants and cry.

cheers
K

yawn

How the fook are you tired?

You've got valerie-v to answer to?

Please. Big boys say, "fuck" whenever possible. And unlike you, I take no pleasure in beating up children.

You have violence ingrained!

Your poetry, your approach, your language.

Luckily you don't give a fook (i'd rather not swear) about laying yourself bare...

What a cunt...

Ok, that was funny. And yes, some part of me is often ticking away, tabulating less savory topics, but that's not out of malicious impulse. I simply don't like it when things go wrong. Who does? So, I keep an eye glued to the dangerous roads, so as not to be unprepared come trouble. Plus, despite what many say, extreme measures possess value, the trick is knowing the limit.

ahhhhhhhh you talk in unmitigated quantities:

- the dangerous roads
- come trouble
- extreme measures

Are you a spy?
Are you Taliban?
Are you pissed off with no cash in a hovel hoping for a better life?

Of course it's all relative.

My life has fallen apart before, I intend to prevent that from occurring again. One does not prevent problems by ignoring them. Now, I've some time on my hands, should we continue this conversation via pm?

PM is so slow...

and bed is beckoning, but by all means PM me, and I'll send you my email.

We need to suss out a quiker way of communicating, I despise all the msn, yahoo, aol, instant shit, but Sykpe may be the way forward?

Ah, but it's the method I prefer. And I'm afraid you're going to have to play the woman in this scenario, calling and calling, awaiting my reply.

Well now I'm confused. I thought I pointed out difference. Maybe I was wrong ? Educate me ? I will do what I can to Improve or learn what I currently don't know. Do I read publish works ? Yes and though only recently. I've always been one for the poetry groups where I go when I go which unfortunately hasn't been often as I would like. But the Mule and Cosmic Is calling and I need to be back.


Though I am proud to call myself a poet from one of the published poets books I have and I am reading Emily and a few others..I can't recall the titles I'm so steeped In books to read.

Let's just say my schedule Is chaotic and I've recently got back In a relationship soon we are moving. We got a place now! So that's cool. I love her. Maybe you all might think It Is to early. I'm not playing by rules. I say how do you define to early ? I like this girl. I love this girl. As I told her she says should we move In this early. It has been almost three months..I say well what Is to early ? How do you know ? When Is the right time a year a few more months ? She was afraid that what would happen she would loose me or we would fight..Couldn't that happen In a year or more months as well ? If you ask me I'd say It could because there Is no boundaries you either agree or don't. If you work together learn together love together all should be well...Though I know things can and will go wrong. I'm no fool. Anyways wish me the best. Any advice let me know..

And so you know prior relationship I took It extremely slow. I thought to take this one fast. Though this Is her first experience.

Camus continue explaining helping define what you mean or say It differently. Maybe I'm not understanding.

I've been refraining from this for years now, Nolon.

What the fuck are you talking about?!

Nolon is a guy in a rock club called "mouse". Lol, I thought everyone knew that

It's all the capital "I's" I find fascinating. H.

The "I"s have it !

It would appear that greatness is a characteristic of dubious worth.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2008 09:14AM by valerie-v.

Hate to bring this back up. But after all the negative feedback and assumptions about teen angst. I was going through a very hard time. And I lost someone I loved of six years which even to this day I still tear up and cry..I actually forgot I wrote this. And I can't seem to see how this is a rehash of older works. I mean yes it's certainly another somber writing. I'll give you that. But teen angst ? I believe this was a mature step into the reality of my life at that time. And a dark reflection of where my life has gone. I wouldn't say entirely but within. I've dated a girl for two years that was great. But I think I've finally come to grips with saying NO I am single I want to be single respect my wishes.

So heres to that. I do not however recall why the last lines were spaced out or if it was an error and why that error wasn't corrected.

thedyingwillbleed is Nolon? ::writes that down to remember:: So many monikers...

Anyway, I like this piece.

"The path we once crossed covered" This line especially, I like the mood it paints.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/08/2021 02:10PM by Sarah_Ann.