User Submitted Poetry
 Interested in feedback about a piece you've written? 

eMule -> The Poetry Archive -> Forums -> User Submitted Poetry


Goto Thread: PreviousNext
Goto: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: petersz (69.181.22.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 01:51AM

The False Tones of Happiness

I am Zak in the sycamore today
Waiting for the prophecy --
Untenable by a chest of stones --
Waiting for the early sun.

I am Ethan by the stable
Parched and empty
Waiting for the light to be lit --
Waiting for my mother’s tears.

I am Aesop and Angel,
All the lost links in the Great Chain of Being…
Hard put to add up my sums,
Aching for a salve for my bones.

Come gather teeth
Amid urchins
And find the Lost Sultan’s rainbows.
We are at the end of days;
The twilight of the gods.


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: petersz (69.181.22.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 01:52AM

Could I do without those last two lines?


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: UPMarty (71.86.182.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 02:25AM

Peter,

It's poems like this that make me wish I was more well read. I have no, or very limited, points of reference for the words you have written, although I can still infer.

In S3, L1 Did you mean to say Aesop AND Angel?

I'm not sure about whether or not you can do without those last two lines. When I try to find the reason you have chosen the title, the last two lines don't shed any light on it and seem like they have nothing to do with it. Perhaps it would be better without them. Do you have a problem leaving them off and letting S4 be just those 3 lines? I think it would be impactful and bring the title to fruition...or more fitting of the title.

Mary


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: petersz (69.181.22.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 02:52AM

I really am using the forum as a sounding board on this one because I have not decided for myself whether I should be leaving the hard work to my audience of interpreting this with or without those two lines. As to the references, the only one that really makes a difference in the one to Zacharias sitting in the Sycamore tree waiting for Jesus to show up. Ethan I made up. I did mean 'and'.

The who thing is about expectations, I think.

Of course, The Grain Chain of Being was the idea in the Middle Ages that all of creation, from the might to the almighty had a place in the universe and in relation to everything else such that to misplace even the smallest item would disrupt everything else, you know, 'everything in its place and a place for everything.'

You can always question me on anything I write. I might be trying to put one over on you. You know what liers us poets are. Or so Plato thought. But what did he know anyway, since they say he burned all his youthful poems.

Cheers,

Peter

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/15/2008 02:53AM by petersz.


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: UPMarty (71.86.182.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 05:07AM

Well, I tried to sleep, but couldn't. Probably sleeping 42 of 48 hours over the weekend being sick, I'm all slept out. I'll be tired tomorrow, but may as well look at your poem again. You're probably sleeping now, but it will give you something to read tomorrow.

"Expectations", yes indeed. Our own idea about what should come next, but often doesn't, perpetuating (false) feelings of disappointment and unhappiness which blocks the ability to see any good in what simply "is". We get mad at others, God, the dog, the car, the boss....any other body and any other thing but ourselves for being so presumptuous to think we knew what was coming next. I've listened to some of Eckart Tolle and Oprah's classes from his book, A New Earth, which suggests that this thinking comes from our own ego.

The Great Chain of Being (or Grain Chain of Being as you formerly referred) must be something like the Ying and the Yang? Isn't Buudism philosophy also similar? The Alpha and the Omega? I might be trying to put one over on you now.

OK, so back to the two last lines. What are you saying with them? It could be taken that the speaker (thinks he) knows something that the reader (the rest of us) does not, which would be as egotistical as having an expectation. The end of the world? Or it could be read that all that we expect will not come to us and we'll die waiting, feeling unhappy, but then.... what of the twilight of the gods? They'll be like "I told you so"? or....We'll find out it was all a farse and they don't exist?

I'm thinking I'll try to sleep again. As ever, glad to commiserate with you, Peter. Ethan's a good name and didn't Aesop write some fables or something? lol.

Marty


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: petersz (69.181.22.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 05:31AM

Marty:

Grain is a typo for Great.
Great Chain of Being is European, not Oriental. Ying/Yang is Chinese.
Alpha and Omega are New Testament, I think from the Boook of Revaleations.
Getting closer to the 'end of days' reference.
Twilight of the Gods the period in Norse Myth when the gods are on their way out.

Sleep well. It's 1:30 am now. Got to get up to cook rice and Spinach to go with the fish I cooked tonight for my friend.

This poem came about because I was reading a description of a painting from the Middle Ages which mentioned the rich man in the sycamore tree waiting for Jesus.

amo,

Peter


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: UPMarty (71.86.182.---)
Date: April 15, 2022 05:59AM

Peter...

I got the typo and didn't think the Great Chain of Being was....nevermind.
Cook well.

I'm setting the timer on the stove to wake up in a couple hours.


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: petersz (67.174.197.---)
Date: August 31, 2021 05:45PM

I ran into this in my notebooks, so I thought I might bump it, if anyone else wanted to take a look at it.

amo et avanti,

Peter


Re: The False Tones of Happiness
Posted by: les712 (68.185.64.---)
Date: September 02, 2021 01:13PM

Thanks for bumping this one Pete, I enjoyed the read. This one must have been posted during one of my absences.

Les




Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.
This poetry forum at emule.com powered by Phorum.