The hammer falls to strike, and then...
(Sins of gold are lies too bold, to isolate or share
I pray your thought's to wrap what's wrought, or fight against the glare.
Unknown, although your deeds shall crow, to counter gods or men
A fitting act by faith or fact, fuse and this way bend)
...we wait for it to lift again.
-Oxide Slain
Good one Oxide, I like the way the beginning letters of the words in the first two lines cause the reader to pause and read slowly, alliteration will do that for you.
Les
I can picture Zeus forging firebolts. That is if he forged his own. If not, I can picture whoever forged them. lol
Excellent writing, loving the title.
The part in parenthesis has a great rhyme,
particularly the first two lines.
Aye:
"...we wait for it to lift again."
Gwyd
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. (Aristotle)
I love the play on words. Very well constructed, Oxide!
Hephaestus
or Vulcan if you swing that way
Good one !
(Sins of gold are lies too bold, to isolate or share
i liked that line the best. really liked the way the whole poem flowed, starting with the title. good one!
redmittengirl
Well done. The meter and rhyme scheme make it easier to appreciate the content.
Joe
Really good feedback people, I appreciate it.
(Though it may seem as I've buried refrences to Greek Mythology in the poem, lol, I assure you it's merely a coincidental happening while trying to communicate a concept)
-Oxide Slain
Brilliant use of alliteration.
Doesn't sound like classical mythology at all to me. I hear Thor's hammer striking the souls of men on the anvil of life. Pure anglo-saxon.
Great work!
Paddy
"My muse is a jealous whore."
Hey, Slain! I did not realize you still haunted this forum in '06. Makes me wish I had thought to come back sooner. Anyhow...
I like this piece a lot. In its few lines I can see how much you've grown since '02-'03 (can't remember exactly when it was you joined). I'd be very interested to see where your poetry is at these days.
Like many others, the lines "(Sins of gold are lies too bold, to isolate or share
I pray your thought's to wrap what's wrought, or fight against the glare." stood out most to me. You've always seemed to like the inner line rhymes.
Anyways, simply said, well done.