A line and more
I wrote one night
Under voice of sad echoes; hopeless stars above
- maybe not?

A single bulb flickers
in that bathroom rusted with green
faded like a world in the spine of a book
- a line or more?

A line or more.

Skin to skin or forgotten felt;
lingering crisp uncertainty under those limbs,
october's air, and hustled close
to the shadow I keep
- one more day?

For one more day?

Window with reflection
again as previous
I see myself here tomorrow
and that's terrible to remember
sad to re-live
- a last line or more?

A last line or more.
A last line or more.
A single last line or more.

I like the rhthmn, line to line, crisp and open narrative too

Thank you.

Interesting insight into the writing process.


Les

Thank you, as well!

bump

A bump for what I think was my first posted poem; I still rather like this one, and a dear friend once said she did too! Five years on this incredible forum. Wow. How quickly time has gone.

Lennonwolf

I really like this, Lennonwolf, and Happy e-mule Anniversary!

Mary

Lennon,

I remember this. It has held up quite well in its own meditative way.

Peter

This is excellent. Many elements pull on my heart when I read it...

Under voice of sad echoes; hopeless stars above

Skin to skin or forgotten felt;
lingering crisp uncertainty under those limbs,
october's air, and hustled close
to the shadow I keep

are the stand out lines for me. Going to give this one a WOW.

I like very much too!

K.Q.

I agree with what everyone else has said.Its a very insightful poem and its rhythm is beautiful


love it.
Lana