Most likely a narative, and it needs to last about 7 minutes, or I can use multiple poems if someone wants to suggest an author. Any help would be great.

Kevin you might find one of these appropriate:

[www.plagiarist.com] />

Les

[www.emule.co.uk] />
[www.emule.co.uk]

Kevin, there are so many humorous poems, short and long, but their suitability depends on the circumstances.

Who is your performance for, and on what sort of occasion?

Do you intend to recite from memory or just read? Whichever, are you experienced at that, or a beginner?

What accent do you speak with, and can you manage other accents?

Ian

Thanks guys. Im gonna use a few Billy Collins poems. They are all so funny, hard to pick just a few for a performance. They really seem to fit the style I'm after, thanks guys.

Man Listening To Disc
Billy Collins

This is not bad --
ambling along 44th Street
with Sonny Rollins for company,
his music flowing through the soft calipers
of these earphones,

as if he were right beside me
on this clear day in March,
the pavement sparkling with sunlight,
pigeons fluttering off the curb,
nodding over a profusion of bread crumbs.

In fact, I would say
my delight at being suffused
with phrases from his saxophone --
some like honey, some like vinegar --
is surpassed only by my gratitude

to Tommy Potter for taking the time
to join us on this breezy afternoon
with his most unwieldy bass
and to the esteemed Arthur Taylor
who is somehow managing to navigate

this crowd with his cumbersome drums.
And I bow deeply to Thelonious Monk
for figuring out a way
to motorize -- or whatever -- his huge piano
so he could be with us today.

This music is loud yet so confidential.
I cannot help feeling even more
like the center of the universe
than usual as I walk along to a rapid
little version of "The Way You Look Tonight,"

and all I can say to my fellow pedestrians,
to the woman in the white sweater,
the man in the tan raincoat and the heavy glasses,
who mistake themselves for the center of the universe --
all I can say is watch your step,

because the five of us, instruments and all,
are about to angle over
to the south side of the street
and then, in our own tightly knit way,
turn the corner at Sixth Avenue.

And if any of you are curious
about where this aggregation,
this whole battery-powered crew,
is headed, let us just say
that the real center of the universe,

the only true point of view,
is full of hope that he,
the hub of the cosmos
with his hair blown sideways,
will eventually make it all the way downtown.

Les

I choose Nostalgia, Child Development, and Another Reason Why I don't Keep a Gun in the House

<'Man Listening to Disc'.> Delightful! Thanks Les.