Helo: I would like to have a copy of the poem that the red hatters use, called the Warning. If anyone could send me a copy please do, if not let me know how to get a copy. Thanks

Jenny Joseph

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

and press alarm bells

Okay, I don't press alarm bells, but I love going in stores at Christmas, and setting off all the musical Santas.

pam

Wow Pam I do that....I once set off all the Hokey-Pokey Elmos...what a glorious cacaphony !

My wife shuddered in her chagrimace !

I avoid people like you at Christmas. I'll bet you have set off that horrible singing bird, too! Now, I've been known to gobble up samples. That's perfectly normal behavior.

They're FREE ! So yes I eat them all !

Am unsure of the bird of which you speak...does it sing in a "human" voice or does it whistle?

In either case, I have NOT set off birds of any nature.

I also lift my leg when I walk past a fire hydrant.

A symbolic act only.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves


I have more than one fmily members who is known for doing things of this nature.

Seriously, the biggest turnaround in my life was when I decided at age 16 that I was no longer going to worry about what others thought of me, if they couldn't accept me for who I am then it was their loss and not mine.

And Billy Bass, too!

pam

One of my local shops has a row of croaking frogs and, er, flatulent garden gnomes lined up just inside the door that all let loose when anyone walks past them - I always dash in and out a couple of times on my way past the shop, just to set them off. They make a great chorus line.

r

Sounds like Thanksgiving at my house.

I have many garden gnomes, but they just stand around looking stoned.
Gaseous Gnomes are now on my "must-have" list