Dorothy Parker died on this date in 1967 at the age of 73.
Portrait of the Artist
Oh, lead me to a quiet cell
Where never footfall rankles,
And bar the window passing well,
And gyve my wrists and ankles.
Oh, wrap my eyes with linen fair,
With hempen cord go bind me,
And, of your mercy, leave me there,
Nor tell them where to find me.
Oh, lock the portal as you go,
And see its bolts be double....
Come back in half an hour or so,
And I will be in trouble.
The False Friends
They laid their hands upon my head,
They stroked my cheek and brow;
And time could heal a hurt, they said,
And time could dim a vow.
And they were pitiful and mild
Who whispered to me then,
"The heart that breaks in April, child,
Will mend in May again."
Oh, many a mended heart they knew.
So old they were, and wise.
And little did they have to do
To come to me with lies!
Who flings me silly talk of May
Shall meet a bitter soul;
For June was nearly spent away
Before my heart was whole.
Odds are, she was great in the sack.
Unfortunate Coincidence
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying -
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
Dorothy Parker
Critic for the New Yorker, poet and wit, Dorothy Parker was often the only woman at the legendary Algonquin Round Table luncheon club in New York, where she said some of her most famous one-liners. Although addicted to liquor and men, Parker supported many left wing causes, helping to found the Hollywood Anti-Nazi league, and eventually being blacklisted by the House of un-American activities. Always keen to keep a work-life balance, when an editor asked her to work during her honeymoon she sent him a telegram: "Too f*ing busy, and vice versa."
She is absolutely one of my all time favorites....here's one I always liked:
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song
A medley of extemporanea
And love is a thing that can never go wrong
And I am Marie of Romania
Comment
Oh life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.
* * * *
Chant For Dark Hours
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Book shop.
(Lady, make your mind up, and wait your life away.)
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Crap game.
(He said he'd come at moonrise, and here's another day!)
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Bar-room.
(Wait about, and hang about, and that's the way it goes.)
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Woman.
(Heaven never send me another one of those!)
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Golf course.
(Read a book, and sew a seam, and slumber if you can.)
Some men, some men
Cannot pass a
Haberdasher's.
(All your life you wait around for some damn man!)
Has anyone seen that movie called Dash and Lilly? He wrote mystery novels at that time....Dorothy Parker is in it. It's about those un-American crimes. I loved it! It's not too old of a movie. It was directed by Cathy Bates.
No I have not but it sounds interesting.....Thanks Talia
Note the beginning trochaic meter in the one below, with the judo throw switch to iambic at the finish.
Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad-
Still behold me at your side.
Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue-
Still you have my heart to wear.
But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
Here are two opinions on men.
The Little Old Lady in Lavender Silk
I was seventy-seven, come August,
I shall shortly be losing my bloom;
I've experienced zephyr and raw gust
And (symbolical) flood and simoom.
When you come to this time of abatement,
To this passing from Summer to Fall,
It is manners to issue a statement
As to what you got out of it all.
So I'll say, though reflection unnerves me
And pronouncements I dodge as I can,
That I think (if my memory serves me)
There was nothing more fun than a man!
In my youth, when the crescent was too wan
To embarrass with beams from above,
By the aid of some local Don Juan
I fell into the habit of love.
And I learned how to kiss and be merry- an
Education left better unsung.
My neglect of the waters Pierian
Was a scandal, when Grandma was young.
Though the shabby unbalanced the splendid,
And the bitter outmeasured the sweet,
I should certainly do as I then did,
Were I given the chance to repeat.
For contrition is hollow and wraithful,
And regret is no part of my plan,
And I think (if my memory's faithful)
There was nothing more fun than a man!
Men
They hail you as their morning star
Because you are the way you are.
If you return the sentiment,
They'll try to make you different;
And once they have you, safe and sound,
They want to change you all around.
Your moods and ways they put a curse on;
They'd make of you another person.
They cannot let you go your gait;
They influence and educate.
They'd alter all that they admired.
They make me sick, they make me tired.
One more.....well maybe one more later too !
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
I saw this movie
I am a big fan of Parker ... and Dashiell ( who, by the way,
also wrote short poems)
from Dot city :
[www.dorothyparkernyc.com] />
..................
a lot of poems [www.americanpoems.com]
a great book about Dashiell, just in case you want to know,
is Dashiell Hammett - a life
by Diane Johnson
Thanks Ilza. To be honest, I checked this movie out of the library because I looked at the back and saw the cool 1940's dresses they were wearing and I couldn't resist. I'm glad it turned out to be such a good movie.
Dash wrote poems? Ilza, will you post some, or provide links please?
Stephen
I'm looking, but not finding and poetry by Hammett.
"Hammett Crime Stories and Other Writings" ... "includes essays, 24 stories, and an early version The Thin Man" but says nothing about poems.
Just looking, however, reminded me of just how nightmarish his life must have been. Imagine serving in BOTH World Wars and then being locked up as an "un-American"! He is, however, buried at Arlington. A picture of his graveston:
[www.findagrave.com]
"BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRETEND TO BE"
Howard Campbell
also wrote as Peter Collinson, Daghull Hammett, Samuel Dashiell, Mary Jane Hammett
.....
Diane Johnson's quotes a couple of his poems
( first published circa 1922)
plus a few to his daughters ( ligth verse)
maybe I am wrong but I believe there is a book to be published,
Vintage Hammett, that will include some of his poems
"Pretend to be good always,
and even God will be fooled."
K Vonnegut
I found a list of Hammett's work that says:
"A Man Named Thin" [elsewhere mentioned as "A MAN NAMED THIN and Other Stories"]: Hammett has created here a rather different sort of protagonist, a dandified poet. He can still write well for him, however, showing great range.
The blurb mentions a "poem ending," so there must be at least one poem in the book.
I will try to look this weekend at the little used bookstore
Diane Johnson's A life
quotes a couple of poems
I don't have my book here right now - but I am sure it does,
they are not great poems, as far as I remember