I found the following on an annonymous web site, oh how they made me chuckle!

Does anyone know of any more?.



Lexi

"NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS"

Yesterday
---------
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.





Post: Lexi

Something
---------

You're asking me can this code go?
I don't know, I don't know...
What sequence causes it to blow?
I don't know, I don't know...



Post: Lexi

"NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS"

Eleanor Rigby
-------------
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Guru MacKenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while...

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?



Post: Lexi

Unix Man (Nowhere Man)
--------
He's a real Unix Man
Sitting in his Unix LAN
Making all his Unix plans for nobody.

Knows the blocksize from du(1)
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Unix Man, please listen(2)
My lpd(8) is missin'
Unix Man, the wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.

He's as wise as he can be
Uses lex and yacc and C
Unix Man, can you help me At all?

Unix Man, don't worry
Test with time(1), don't hurry
Unix Man, the new kernel boots, just like you had planned.

He's a real Unix Man
Sitting in his Unix LAN
Making all his Unix plans For nobody ...
Making all his Unix plans For nobody.




Post: Lexi

"NEW LYRICS TO BEATLES SONGS"

Write in C ("Let it Be")
------------------------
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.




Post: Lexi

It's been a hard day's night, and I been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, and I woke up with a log.

Why don't we do it in Excel?

Why don't we do it in Excel?

Why don't we do it in Excel?

Why don't we do it in Excel?

No one needs it anyway.

Why don't we do it in Excel?

Personally, I wouldn't call this science fiction poetry, but computer-geek poetry. (Not that there's not a huge overlap in the populations.......)

You might want to check out the Science Fiction Poetry Association website at [www.sfpoetry.com] />
pam

What is "computer-geek"?


Lexi

Essentially- someone who's crazy about computers. We here at EMule are poetry-geeks.

pam

There is poetry in mathematics, no?


Lexi

Math is a language and yes, it is poetry

"I "Love Summer more than I hate Winter"

I think of "geek" meaning someone who relates to one thing (computers, for example) and NOT to people. It implies not only an obsession with something technical, but also an INABILITY to deal with things outside of that obsession.

There may be poetry geeks, but I suspect that MOST of the passionate poetry enthusiasts out there are ALSO interestested in the world that poetry describes and the history it illuminates and and and.

Re: computer-related lyrics to Beatle's songs:




ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE [REPEAT]

Rocky Baboon

Somewhere in a back yard in Jersey on a Kabota
Sat a young boy named Rocky Baboon
And his mother left him there to fry
She hit young Rocky with a pie,
Rocky got angry, he left the tractor running,
Went upstairs and told his mom a lie
He licked off the cream,
She'd broken his dream
So he soon told his family: "good-bye"

He said I'm gonna show my family I can fly
So he went downtown, booked himself a flight
On the local red-eye
Now Rocky Baboon left Jersey too soon
He couldn't find a room
In Jersey in which he could cry

Seems he and some gal that he thought was a pal
Had taken his checks and got high
So Rocky left town with no one around
To even say how or say why
His family it seems had stolen his dreams
And left young Rocky quite high

But he flew to Japan where he met a man
Who knew poor Rocky would try
To get himself straight
So he left it to fate, and asked the man for a plate
The man gave him a job
And turned the young slob
Into a snob with a tie.

The story of Rocky, yeah yeah.


Les

"he hit young Rocky with a pie"

"Pie", like the circumference of a circle, confused?!


Lexi

She hit young Rocky with a pie, cream on top! A la Benny Hill.

Les

Makes almost as much sense as the original!

pam

OH! I see!

Good to hear from you again Les.

Lexi

Here's the original for our next generation who may be uninitiated in the Beatles:

The Beatles[White Album] (1968)
LYRICS

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of dakota
There lived a young boy named rocky raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young rocky in the eye, rocky didn’t like that
He said I’m gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon

Rocky raccoon checked into his room
Only to find gideon’s bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was magil and she called herself lil
But everyone knew her as nancy

Now she and her man who called himself dan
Were in the next room at the hoe down
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said danny boy this is a showdown
But daniel was hot - he drew first and shot
And rocky collapsed in the corner

Now the doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said rocky you met your match
And rocky said, doc it’s only a scratch
And I’ll be better, I’ll be better doc as soon as I am able

Now rocky raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find gideon’s bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good rocky’s revival

Les

"Gideon checked out
and he left it no doubt
To help with good rocky’s revival"



I love that!
WHO SAYS song lyrics aren't poetry?

Her name was magil and she called herself lil
But everyone knew her as nancy


Say what?

Beatles? Isn't that the group Paul McCartney was in before Wings?

(joking, joking- don't hit me!)

pam

Who could hit someone wearing a cat as a tam?

Her name was magil and she called herself lil
But everyone knew her as nancy


I knew a girl like that once, Hugh, except that her name was Lucille, who called herself, Jill. But everyone knew her as Fancy.


Les

Well, music producers and musicians too - if they're drunk enough,
they will also declare that there is no such thing as love and beauty is an open wound - cheerful lot!


Agree with you, Marian-NYC, nice quote.
Lexi

A planet called "Paradise"
-------------------------------------


With the sun
As cold as the moons
We set up camp
On a round block of ice
In the middle of stars.


Voices take months
To call to us
As we sit, & wait, & freeze
On this distant planet
Knowing what's it like
To be completely alone.


The last thing any of us
Ever expected
Were vast creatures
Looking over the mountains
Hunger in their bellies.


They came in the night
& took Joe,
Soon it'll be our bones
Laying frozen in the ice
On a planet that we
Called Paradise.

---
Terry Cuthbert

And to cross this with the music as poetry link- from Queen.

pam


'39
Words and music by Brian May

'In the year of thirty-nine'
Assembled here the volunteers
In the days when lands were few
Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn
The sweetest sight ever seen
And the night followed day
And the story tellers say
That the score brave souls inside
For many a lonely day
Sailed across the milky seas
Never looked back never feared never cried

Don't you hear my call
Though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
Write your letters in the sand
For the day I'll take your hand
In the land that our grand-children knew

'In the year of thirty-nine'
Came a ship from the blue
The volunteers came home that day
And they bring good news
Of a world so newly born
Though their hearts so heavily weigh
For the earth is old and grey
Little darlin' we'll away
But my love this cannot be
Oh so many years have gone
Though I'm older than a year
Your mothers eyes from your eyes cry to me

Don't you hear my call
Though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
Write your letters in the sand
For the day I'll take your hand
In the land that our grand-children knew

Don't you hear my call
Though you're many years away
Don't you hear me calling you
All your letters in the sand
Cannot heal me like your hand
For my life still ahead pity me

LP, yours reminds me of Macleish's Epistle:

[www.marcopolopoet.com]

I think you have a very narrow and prejudiced idea of geek-ness.

Hard to tell unless one is enlightened. What's your view, Z?

SCIENCE FICTION SOLARIS

"Reflections on the Atom Bomb"
Gertrude Stein


They asked me what I thought of the atomic bomb.
I said I had not been able to take any interest in it.

I like to read detective and mystery stories. I never get enough
of them but whenever one of them is or was about death rays and
atomic bombs I never could read them. What is the use, if they are
really as destructive as all that there is nothing left and if there
is nothing there nobody to be interested and nothing to be interested
about. If they are not as destructive as all that then they are
just a little more or less destructive than other things and that
means that in spite of all destruction there are always lots left
on this earth to be interested or to be willing and the thing that
destroys is just one of the things that concerns the people inventing
it or the people starting it off, but really nobody else can do
anything about it so you have to just live along like always, so
you see the atomic [bomb] is not at all interesting, not any more
interesting than any other machine, and machines are only interesting
in being invented or in what they do, so why be interested.
I never could take any interest in the atomic bomb, I just couldn't
any more than in everybody's secret weapon. That it has to be secret
makes it dull and meaningless. Sure it will destroy a lot and kill
a lot, but it's the living that are interesting not the way of killing
them, because if there were not a lot left living how could there
be any interest in destruction. Alright, that is the way I feel
about it. They think they are interested about the atomic bomb but
they really are not not any more than I am. Really not. They may
be a little scared, I am not so scared, there is so much to be scared
of so what is the use of bothering to be scared, and if you are
not scared the atomic bomb is not interesting.

Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their
common sense. They listen so much that they forget to be natural. This is a nice story.

Gertrude Stein, 1946


There are a number of far more useful sources for information about Gertrude Stein, for example:
[www.ags.uci.edu]

"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their
common sense."


AMEN

Here's Albert's take on the matter:


The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
--Albert Einstein

1. "Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their
   common sense."
   
   
   1. "Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their
      common sense. They listen so much that they forget to be natural. This is a nice story."
      
      Thought this was a good example of how a quote taken out of context can cloud the author's intent. Propaganda.
      
      Thank you.
      
      
      Leiky

E=mc2 ... maybe, is a nice story.



Leiky

Leiky, what are you twittering on about?

Sorry, I only
wish I knew,
.. um .. Hugh.


Leiky

Is a brief history of time, Stephen Hawkins, also science fiction then?
Very confused. Leiky

Leiky wrote:

SCIENCE FICTION SOLARIS

"Reflections on the Atom Bomb"
Gertrude Stein
They asked me what I thought of the atomic bomb.
I said I had not been able to take any interest in it.

I like to read detective and mystery stories. I never get
enough of them but whenever one of them is or was about death rays >and atomic bombs I never could read them. What is the use, if they
are really as destructive as all that there is nothing left and if
there is nothing there nobody to be interested and nothing to be
interested about.

Somehow I don't think she ever read Ray Bradbury's 'There Will Come Soft Rains.'

pam

Yes, she is quite heavy.

Hmm or the Illustrated Man, I bet.

Leiky

What is the use, if they
are really as destructive as all that there is nothing left and if
there is nothing there nobody to be interested and nothing to be
interested about


This part reminds me of the movie "On the Beach". Sort of fatalistic.
Kind of "no nukes is good nukes" philosophy.

Les

Les, she is being cynical. Why have you changed your name 1g?

Leiky

Leiky, my name is still Les.

Les

A philosophical explanation of the above:

We are what we do, not what we are called.


A practical explanation of the above:

I needed to ditch the -Les- logo so I could log in officially, since some other Les owns the copyright here at e-mule.


Now how do you pronounce that again?


Les

If the two Marions can manage to distinguish between each other for us and still retain their names, why couldn't you?

There's two Lindas as well.

Mind you, I can't think who the other Les would be, you're the regular here.



Post Edited (04-20-04 17:32)

Never mind all that. What, exactly, is "twittering"? And can only females do it or it is a multigender thing?

I would take it as a varient of whittering, and tend to expect a female subject (though Chambers doesn't support this)
Blokes are more likely to rabbit on.

No, it's science- Non-fiction.

pam

Think of birds chirping at each other- this is twittering. (Of course, what the mockingbirds singing at 3 in the morning are is annoying!)

pam

Yes, definitely. (and I love On the Beach!) Stein's rejecting the field based on this idea, not seeing that even with a constraint like 'the world has ended,' you can still write wonderful stories.

pam

-"I needed to ditch the -Les- logo so I could log in officially, since some other Les owns the copyright here at e-mule."

Oh! I thought it stood for good one, which of course you are!!



-"Now how do you pronounce that again?"

Eh? Is "that" a riddle?


Leiky

Lexi?
Alexis?
Lieky pronounced LI-Key?

Les

... well ... as I have said before, you "can"
pronounce my name "Lie key" but I wouldn't.


Liiieeeeckikikikideemaybe

Is a brief history of time, Stephen Hawkins, also science fiction then?

Naw, Hawkins was spot on with that one. Now, string theory, that is something else again. Impossible as it at first seems, the farther galaxies are away from one another, the faster they are moving apart. That is to say, a two galaxies 1000 light years apart are separating twice as fast as two that are 500 LY. The expanding balloon hypothesis cannot account for such a phenomenon, but the string theorists claim to be able to do so.

I am not entirely confident I follow the logic, but it is something along the lines of comparing the universe to a guitar string. Being twanged, that is, like a cylinder. The outer layers then will move faster than the inner ones.

We're all inside a black hole anyway, so why worry.