[www.postpoems.com] />

Stephen

Thanx Stephen,

Old news to guys who have been around the block...
But New News to new commmers...

E.

I was surprised to get the same scam from Who's Who. Quite proud of myself when I got the first call with an invitation to have my name in the book. Only at the end of the 'interview' did I discover they wanted me to pay to have my name, picture, and biography included. Oh, well ...

Hugh who?

Stephen

Hugh,

I'll pay to see your biography and picture!

Me too!

No. Can't be.

[astroqueer.tripod.com] />

Stephen

Snort! No, not me, but here's a bio for ya:

How pleasant to know Mr. Clary,
Though his visage is hairy and scary,
With a tummy not flat,
He's hung like a gnat,
And a rhyme he quite often has nary.

We don't care if you're hung like a gnat.
We're interested, but not about that.
Your endowments aside,
Just swallow your pride
And relate an important Hugh stat.

Dear Mr Clary
We regret to inform you that our offer of employment is hereby withdrawn. Your application form [emule/phorum/usersubmittedpoetry/themusicofmychildhood/robertplant/kellyamalone] is returned herewith.
Here at Rent-A-Bulge, we pride ourselves on satisfying our customers. Our policy has always been to accept the entries on job application forms without query, although we were a little taken aback at some of yours. Nevertheless, we accepted them in good faith and were prepared to share any “additional satisfaction bonus” with you. It was therefore with great regret that we received from a Mr Stephen Fryer a copy of your ditty in which you make reference to a gnat. On the information available to us, a gnat bulge is unlikely to fulfil our criteria, and it would therefore appear that some of your entries were erroneous.
We would ask you to make no further applications to this company.
Yours sincerely


Only joking, kiddo. Jack and me, we are in awe of you, and can only retailiate childishly.

Stephen

< blush >
Hey, thanks for the encouragement, guys! If I ever get enough energy to make a chapbook, I promise to keep you in mind. I doubt there is an audience of sufficient size to cover the printing costs, but it might be fun to waste a few bucks just for the hell of it.

Glenda, I'm 6 foot tall, 183 lbs, brown hair, blue eyes, play tennis three times a week, and am so tone deaf that my wife will not let me whistle, sing, or even hum around the house.

What about you? I can see you are in Texas, but that's about all.

Hugh,

I am 5'7" tall, older than dirt, play tennis in three leagues (great at the net),brown hair (thank you hairdreser) green eyes, and on my last birthday my friends made me a cake that said "Bitch Goddess" I did not include my weight because it's none of your damn business. Thank you for the info .... Keep your feet moving.

You know you guys are completely ruining this for me. When I read a posting from any obvoiusly male here, I assume he looks like Rex Harrison (complete with cardigan with elbow patches), and all the obviously female names I give the attributes of your quintessential librarian (granny glasses, hair in a bun, orthopedic shoes). The people who come up with off-the-wall pseudonyms MUST all be computer geeks, web addicts, and members of some 'Star Wars' cult. Now that you guys have shattered this stereotypical illusion, I notice that I don't quite fit into any of these self-imposed pigeon-holes. My cardigan has NO elbow patches (yet), and I only wear those glasses for READING!
may the force be with you
Jack

Here's a better version of the scam info.

[windpub.org] />

Stephen

A golden oldie bump


Jack

Timely addition:

There were some thought today was ideal
For storming the Paris Bastille
In a search for munitions,
But found politicians
And of them only seven to steal.

Come to think of it, I haven't heard La Marseillaise all day. I will have to find it online somewhere - great tune!

Now that the subject of scams has popped up again, i might as well ask - has anyone here heard of 'Xlibris'? i've received a few emails from them in the last couple of weeks about publishing - they haven't asked for any money (yet), but i haven't responded and just assumed it's another of the vanity press. Does anyone know of them?

rikki

Yeah, Jack your assumptions are so off, but they gave me a good laugh.

desire

'Xlibris'?

Opinions are mixed:

[groups.google.com]

Jack,

I can't speak for anyone else, but I assure you that I do in fact look like "your quintessential librarian"--except for the granny glasses, hair in a bun, and orthopedic shoes.

Although I don't have any orthopedic shoes, I am wearing granny glasses and a bun in my hair.

aha. thanks Hugh!
(i'd forgotten about that 'groups' button on google - very handy.)
r

I play tennis weakly, sing the male parts of My Fair Lady the same way but drive fast cars.

Chesil,

What cars? How fast?

Thank you for "older than dirt" - that's lovely. I was enjoying it so much that I managed to read the next part as "Play tennis in three languages".

Errrr.... currently I have a BMW Z4 that I have managed to take up towards its listed speed of over 150 mph - on a closed course, naturally (well there was no other traffic on the road that day)!

In the past, in the UK, I had a variety of fast cars (I loved that mini cooper the best) and long long ago a Triumph Daytona 500 motorcycle that felt extremely fast!

Chesil-

Rex Harrison's tweed hat would have blown off at 50.
A friend has a Triumph Bonneville 650 (won't let anyone touch it).
I sold my Honda 500 years ago. Recently bought a Honda 250.
It gets me where I want to go (barely).


Jack

Julia33,

Actually, I do play tennis in TWO languages. I keep score in French and curse in English.

ROFL!