Marian, I'll have you know Groucho was around longer than he was flat.


Les

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

And to add to the spoonerisms earlier in this thread;

The wedding celebrant who in the ceremony asked whether there was any legal impediment to the young couple before him being 'joyfully loined together'.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/18/2005 06:47PM by IanB.

I am, by far, the most modest guy in the world.

and how bout those oxymorons like Hyundai Excel, and Hot UK women ?

I've pen bondering spoonerisms lately. I thunder what causes wem?

My chilled grease sandwich was getting cold, so I went to mall wart where there was a Jack in the Donalds and fopped for some shood. I must have drain bamage, cause everything I saw was bass ackwards. There were chork pops in the meat section and shilk makes at the fountain. I finally settled for a bamhurger with furly cries. By the lime I teft, I was tearly in nears.

Next time, I think I'll go down to the Query Dean, where I know I can get a share fake.


Les

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/18/2005 04:29PM by lg.

Don't know the word for a person who consantly uses words incorrectly but do know the word for those who persist in wrongly spelling words such as:

jail for gaol;
theater for theatre;
center for centre..........

oooooooooops!

I think that the word you're looking for is 'American.'

pam

a propagandist

One would hope that one's contemporaries might not be so parochial as to think "to be different" is synonymous with "to be incorrect," expecially in matters linguistic.

As the Rev. Spooner said, "There is no peace in a home where a dinner swells."


Les

PamAdams

Is this something else that we can blame the Americans for?

Vic, don't be ungrateful, after all we've given you Microsoft and hip hop. While all you gave us is Olivia Newton-John and Greg Norman.

Come to think of it I'll trade you two Yahoos for another Greg Norman.


Les

I think as a thank you for Microsoft we should put you in quarantine!

American Cheese

Cheesy American!

Les

I'm more corny than cheesy

Desi, so it was you who threw the pie!

[66.102.7.104] />
Les

(NOT a TRUE STORY)

Bill Gates in hell


Steve Jobs died and was sent to Hell. He was set to work handling tech support for the computer network. After several millenia he got to go on break. He was walking up the hallway to the break room, and noticed a door ajar.

Peering inside he noticed Bill Gates sitting in a hot tub with a gorgeous woman.

Perplexed, and quite angry, Jobs continued walking to the break room, and noticed the Ombundsman's Office. He went inside and there was Satan himself sitting at the customer service desk.

Jobs explained his complaint that it didn't seem fair that he was having to do penance doing tech support while his former rival was enjoying himself with a lovely woman.

Satan fixed Jobs with a cold stare and roared "HOW DARE YOU COMMENT ON THAT WOMAN'S PUNISHMENT."

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/20/2005 03:53PM by lg.

I'm more corny than cheesy

Ahhhh, so you're a hot dog, or . . .dot hog, if you prefer!



For dinner last week, I was served keys and parrots which I drenched with a Margarita and liced slime.

I was too squeamish to try the rot post, so I settled for the bound grief.


Les

mew

These are all from this week.

His daughter is doing well in school. How well? "She's carrying a 3.9 GPS!"

He recently tried a new scheme at work, but it turned out to be "A flash in the pants."

That's what he gets for doing things "On the sperm of the moment."

I was taking some pies to a pot-luck at the Red Cross chapter where I volunteer.
He is under the impression that I only work there because there are lots of women to... I don't know. Whatever his mind comes up with. Anyway, when he saw the pies he said, "You know what they say. The way to a woman's stomach is through her... uh... well... they like pie!"

These and many, many more.
Every day.
It wouldn't be funny if he did it on purpose.


Jack

Yeah, around here, making comments like: "On the sperm of the moment."

is inconceivable. Though the idea is pregnant with possibilities.



Les

These are all fresh this week:


His daughter is doing well at school. How well?
"She's carrying a 3.9 GPS."

He proposed a good idea at work. It looked good at first, but...
"It was just a flash in the pants."

He usually thinks these things through. He doesn't like to act...
"On the sperm of the moment."

The best one this week came when I told him about the Red Cross pot-luck.
He thinks I only volunteer there to meet women (He's wrong). When I showed him the pies I was taking, he looked at them knowingly and said...
"You know what they say. The way to a woman's stomach is through her... uh... well... uh... They like pie."


These are ALL real. And many, many more.
They wouldn't be funny if he did it on purpose.



Jack

Wait a minute, didn't I just hear that?

Or, are there two Jacks with quirky friends?


Les

I thought I was having hot flashes back, Jack.

The word you are looking for is POLITICIAN.

lg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

While all you gave us
is Olivia Newton-John and Greg Norman.



Les, how about penicillin, microsurgery, the bionic ear, wind-surfing, The Wiggles and ... um ... that strange man who wrestles crocodiles....??


rikki

(ps. sorry about Olivia)

Rikki,

Are you referring the very small Australian man who wrestles crocodiles or the other small Australian man who used to wrestle crocodiles and wore crocodile teeth in the band of his hat. The one who showed the world what a knife really looked like, "That's not a knife. This is a knife!"

Vic, I'd forgotten about the first croc-wrestler! I was thinking of Steve what's-his-name when i wrote that. How could I forget Dundee?



"New York City, Mr. Dundee. Home to seven million people."
"That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Wow, New York must be the friendliest place on earth."

Where would the world be without wind-surfing?

That's the Aussie equivalent of our ice surfing. [wintermt.com] />

Les

Aussies go ice surfing when they are too old to wind surf.